Yesterday was an interesting day...

The day started off on the wrong note. I should have just stayed home but I didn't. We went to our usual Thursday play date. Apparently, someone came into my house overnight and replaced my lovely children with satan's spawn because they were acting like little devils. No one would listen and they were too wild. I actually packed them up and was making them leave before lunch was served. This caused near hysteria but I am not one to give in and I think the only way they learn a lesson is if you follow through. My sister was there and begged me to give them another chance and I caved. (very unlike me) They did get better after that because they really thought I was making them leave. They ate like they never ate before. Even Ciaran.

Next we were headed to Calleigh's eight month well check visit. I was bringing all the kids with me. Normally, I wouldn't be worried. They are very good but seeing how they were not in the best of moods I was a little nervous. All three of them fell asleep in the car in under 5 minutes. Not that it excuses their behavior but it makes it more understandable. It was only 1 in the afternoon and they were unconscious.

I drive around while they sleep and arrive at the doctor's office. Colin wakes up from his nap and says "Mom, where are my extra pants?" I say "we don't have any extra pants". He says "I think I had a little accident while I was sleeping". I undo his car seat and am immediately overwhelmed by the smell of poop. It was everywhere. Down his legs up his back in his seat on his coat. Now, I have theree other sleeping children in the car. No clean clothes and I have 1 minute before my appointment. Colin is now crying because he is upset he had an accident. I felt so bad for him because he was upset. My sister lives about 2 blocks from the doctor so I call her and she luckily answered the phone (THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!) She came over and brought me some sweat pants. It took my an ENTIRE brand new container of wipes to get all the poop off of him.

Now I unload the others after waking them. At this point I realize Frank didn't put the stroller back in the car so I am strollerless.

I will say to my credit I was still smiling at this point. I get them all in the office. The boys redeemed themselves and behaved like angels in the office. Of course I did give them some Valentine candy while they waited but it worked. Colin pooped two more times in the doctors. Calleigh now poops every 20 minutes since the colostomy reversal so I changed her about 3 times in the office. I am hoping she gets better quickly and her body realizes she only has 2/3 of her colon left.

I get them home and Ciaran and Cormac both have skid marks in their underwear. At this point I am so overwhelmed by the smell I think it is all over me. In the bath go the boys. Ah, a moment of lovely smelling children. No more pooping since.

I am guessing it's because they ate way too many pears the day before. I totally forgot pears make you poop. They love pears and had a pear feast the day before. I have learned my lesson!

Today has got to be easier, right???

Christmas is coming

I started this post right around Thanksgiving and never remembered to finish and publish it. The words that surround Holidays are so awesome. In normal conversations my children used the word waddle (as in on a Turkey's neck!),pilgrims, indians and teepee. I was quickly told that a Teepee was a kind of house an Indian lived in. We also used the word Feast. Celebration is another word coming up in our talks. I am in awe of all the words my kids know. I can't believe how much they over hear and are able to repeat. (not always so good :) ) Cormac also can do this and picks up tons of incidental language. A big worry of us moms to kids with hearing loss. He seems to know lots of words that are not "taught" to him. Music to my ears!

I have to tell this story because it was so hilarious. We were playing in the play kitchen. We made menus and the boys were taking my order. It was a great time. They told me all the things they wanted to serve. We had a food menu and a dessert menu. I laminated them. The boys deicided to name their restaurant "THe Lawrence Brothers Diner", cute right? Well, about an hour later, Cormac walks up to me hands me a menu and says "Hey Mommy, What do you want from "The Lawrence Brothers Vaginer"! Oh, how I laughed.

We had our fist snowfall this weekend. It was beautiful and the boys were just in awe. We were out later than normal at my sister's house and when we got him it was dark and they were running on the lawn yelling "I LOVE SNOW". It was only about 2-3 inches so not much but I thought to myself, how wonderful it is to look at the world through the eyes of a three year old. When's the last time I just thought "wow, look how beautiful the snow is" without thinking in the back of my head, "ugh, snow, now starts the mess. The shoveling. All the yucky stuff that goes along with it" Oh, to be three again and so unaware of the real world! I wish I could bottle their enthusiasm for life.







Christmas is quickly approaching. We have had three visits to Santa so far and the requests are still the same. I am so happy no one is afraid of Santa. They are in love with him. Another holiday and tons of language! Tree lighting, tinsel, trimming the tree, decorations, lights, garland, mistletoe, jolly. THe words are endless. Not to mention snow, flurries, flakes, blizzard, storm. All the weather words of the season.

We went to the tree lighting in town last night. It was the first time we made it to it since we lived here. Fun and short. Good for us with the four kids. Just enough to get them excited and happy but not cold and complaining!



Calleigh is having surgery to reverse her colostomy on Monday (12/14) so keep her in your thoughts and prayers. I am terrified and thrilled at the same moment. To have her without the colostomy is going to be wonderful. But sending her in for a pretty complicated, several hour long surgery, well is scares the shit out of me. Not to mention she can't eat after Saturday at midnight, yes SATURDAY, and her surgery isn't until Monday morning. I also have to empty her colon on Sunday so she will be have to drink somthing similar to what people drink before a colonoscopy. This poor little girl has no idea why I will be torturing her. SHe will be starving and miserable. We can give her pedialyte. But that is all. It took us forever to get the little bugger to 13 pounds and she will probably lose it all after this experience. She will be in the hosptial 3-5 days depending on her recovery. KNowing Calleigh and her track record, she will be in 6 days! Let's hope not but if you remember she didn't want to leave the NICU.

Out of the mouths of three year olds....

Today we are leaving my sister Trisha's house (she has been helping me out tremendously since the baby was born) and her landscaper was finishing with the lawn. Colin says to me "Mommy, is that his job?" I say, yes. Just like Daddy works for the phone company and Uncle Mike drives the UPS truck (their latest obsession) that is his job. Well, I decide to ask them "what is Mommy's job?" After some thought from the three of them Ciaran says "Mommy, your the best driver. That's your job. You drive us everywhere" Cormac chimes in that I "cook and clean" and Colin says "But you don't do the laundry. Daddy does" (Yep, Frank does almost all the laundry. If I could only get him to put it away....)

Needless to say I got quite the chuckle on the car ride home. But really, in most ways, I am a driver, a cook, a cleaner, a problem solver, a referee, an advocate, a teacher. Being a Mom you wear many hats. There is no one job description that can define motherhood. It is an evolving job and no two days are really ever the same. While it is probably the most demanding job on the planet I also think it is the most rewarding job. And above all a Mom's most important "chore" of the day is to just love their kids. Not really much of a chore!

My kids apparently have there own language as well. They have about 5 words they say that are nonsense words but they all know what it means. Frank and I? We have no clue. If you ask them they won't tell you. The most frequently used nonsense word is "noneena". As much as I can figure out a "noneena" is a noun and causes them to act crazy whenever the word is said. Let alone one of them say "the noneena is coming" then all Hell breaks loose!

Cormac's spontaneous language is just growing by leaps and bounds every day. The things that come out of his mouth just amaze me. We are working on taking turns and having a conversation. Keeping him on topic isn't always easy but I am not sure how much that is related to hearing or just that he is a 3 year old. I am realizing his hearing is just amazing. Lots of things he says are just things he picks up in everyday conversations. The fact that today I had a conversation with him while I was in my bedroom and he was downstairs in the kitchen speaks volumes. He came in the house from the back yard and yelled "mommy, where are you?" I said "I am upstairs in my bedroom". He answers back "you're in your bedroom, what are you doing up there?" (I was pumping for Calleigh) I tell him this and he says "oh, you getting milk for the baby?" SOmetimes it's hard to remember he is deaf. I mean, I always KNOW he's deaf and our lives revolve around language aquisition BUT we have been doing this for almost two years and it's just part of our normal routine. It no longer seems like we are always working more like it's just our life. Does that make sense?

"You're the best Mommy in the whole wide world.

You are super smart and super sweet." This is what Ciaran told me today on the car ride home from school. He just said it for no reason what so ever. I had to document it so I can show him someday. In case you couldn't guess, it made my whole day. Ciaran is by far the sweetest child. He loves to cuddle and hug and kiss me and Frank. He says so many sweet things. He is quick to touch Cormac's cheeks and tell him he is so "adorable" or "sweet". Lately, he's been telling Cormac he is beautiful since Cormac has been wearing a tiara around the house :).

Sure, there are times during the day when I think the three of them are little hellions but man it's so worth it to hear them say such wonderful things. I hope it's a reflection of how I talk to them. I make an effort every day to point out all the good they do and recognize kindness. Trust me, I spend a lot of the day telling them what they did wasn't nice or was fresh so I figure I gotta point out the good as well. You would be surprised at how quickly behavior changes when I am praising one for doing something sweet or for behaving nicely and listening to Mommy. All kids want their parents approval and it's sometimes easy to forget to point out the good.

I will say the three of them were filled with EXTRA energy today. Blame it on days and days of rain. Blame it on them being all thrown off by the baby still being in the hospital and our lives have been so hectic lately but WOW they were energized. I need to find something to do tomorrow to wear them out.

On the potty front. We have made a GIANT leap the last two days. Colin has FINALLY agreed to wear "big boy underwear". He has been wearing a pull up but doesn't go the bathroom in it but REFUSED to wear underwear. Well, yesterday he decided he was done with pull ups. He did great today in his underwear. He had one mishap in the morning but other than that he was perfect all day. Gotta love three three year olds getting out of diapers. Just in time for Calleigh.

As for Miss Calleigh. She is doing really well. She is eating more. Tonight she was bumped up to 25cc (30 cc is an ounce) and was switched back to breast milk :) She isn't taking it all by bottle but is making improvements each day. She weighed 6pounds 10 oz tonight. That's up 9 oz from her birth weight. She is starting to look chubby! She is just a beautiful little girl. I hate leaving her at the hospital but I know she received the best care while she is there.

Frank is finishing her room tomorrow. It's really almost done. He just has to put in the new light fixture, finish the wainscoting (just a small bit more) and move the computer downstairs. Not too much. Her room is turning out just like I envisioned. So pretty and girly!

On a side note, please say some prayers for some of the babies in the NICU with Calleigh. It seems a large number of very premature babies (a 23 weeker, a 24 weeker and a another 24 weeker who only weighs 13 oz) have been born in the last few days. They are so tiny and are really struggling right now. They could use some extra prayers.

Three little Poopers!

Potty training is in full effect in the Lawrence household. Unless you have tried to potty train three at once you will never comprehend the madness this entails. We are doing VERY well. As long as I put them on the potty to pee we are good to go. They tell me if they have to poop. Baby steps. HOWEVER, it's half hour project every time one has to go. They all take off their pants and all three are on the potty at the same time. Let me tell you, I never knew the three of them could stink up a room so quickly. They are like poopers on demand! I dont know how they do it. But today was a good day. They just went down for a nap and we have not had one wet pull up today. And we were out all morning. Cormac goes on the potty at school. Ciaran and Colin, well, they want to go in every bathroom at this point. Public restrooms are a whole other animal I wish I could avoid. Not about to happen at this stage of the game. When will I be brave enough to leave the house without pull ups? Dont know. It will come eventually. I honestly think they will be all done by the time baby girl arrives. Nice.

We are into week 5 of Cormac being in school. He is LOVING it beyond belief. After those few days of crying he has never looked back. Ciaran and Colin have settled into their preschool for 2 days and look forward to it as well. They are all growing up into quite the little men. Three three year olds with very different minds and personalities can lead to some challenging days. We are taking it a day at a time. It's weird because most days are fine. But then you have one that really knocks you for a loop. Makes you wonder who came and possessed my children and when are they leaving (LOL). Luckily, they are few and far between.

Cormac's language continues to improve. Each day he says more and more and his clarity is really improving. He has more complex language recently. Before he started school I was so always worried about making sure I did SO much with him in a day to concentrate on language. Knowing he is at Summit 3 hours every day really takes some of the pressure away. WHile our house is always focused on language and we continue to use the Auditory Verbal approach, I don't feel the need to overwhelm him with it like I did in the past.

Cormac is starting to tell us if he can't hear with one of his implants. This is a big step. The other morning only one ear had a fresh battery so I knew he was only hearing out of one ear. I asked him and he was able to tell the difference. This is great because we want him to be able to tell us if his equipment is not working.

We are approaching Cormac's two year hearing anniversary (6/21/09). Can't believe it has been two years. We will celebrate it again with cake. It's such a memorable day for our family. It also happens to be my sister Trisha's birthdday.

Our days are so busy now that we transport Cormac to school in the mornings. It seems we don't have time to do too much. Thank goodness for our backyard. They love being out their playing. Usually entails finding worms and bugs and getting very dirty but I have learned that boys equal dirt. Nothing you can do about it. It all washes off and the enjoyment they get out of it is worth it.

Have to download the camera from our class trip to the zoo and Uncle Bill's 70th birthday party.

Lots of videos...

Be prepared for video overload. I will write an update of Ciaran and Colin's first day at school later. Just wanted to share these videos.

As a reminder, Cormac has been hearing now for 21 months. He is profoundly deaf in both ears and wears bilateral cochlear implants.

Here is Cormac talking about Comets in the sky.


Colin with his new PSEG truck getting the word "retired" confused with "really tired"!



Ciaran and Cormac counting in Spanish



Colin and Cormac reunited after Cormac was at school.



Ciaran and Cormac reunited after Cormac was at school

NEgative comments

Frank and I had some errands to take care of yesterday so we decided to take the boys with us last night. You know, one big happy family...

I had to return something to Target and we had to go to Fortunoff to look for a gift. We were in Fortunoff. I was pushing Cormac in a cart and Frank was pushing Ciaran and Colin. I was strolling through the jewelry department when a sales person approaches me. She points to Cormac's ears and says "how did you know he needed hearing aids?" I always love the opportunity to tell people about the wonderful miracle of cochlear implants so I say "those are actaully cochlear implants. We found out when he was born he was had failed a newborn screening. We followed up and it turns out he was deaf". Before I could say more she says "well, maybe if you didn't do that to him he would have heard you". To say I was surprised by the comment is to put it mildly. I was also angered by her comment but reminded myself quickly most people don't have any experience with hearing loss or deafness and lack of knowledge can often lead to comments. My answer? "well, if we hadn't done this he wouldn't hear you talking about him at the moment. He is profoundly deaf and would have heard nothing his entire life and wouldn't be talking up a storm as we walk through the store". (about 1 minute before she talked to me Cormac had just pointed to a figurine of Mickey and Minnie and said "Mom, look it's Mickey and Minnie and Minnie is wearing a tiara" yes, he said that entire sentence and said it clear and perfect and people standing around us understood him perfectly!) The kind sales lady says "do you really think so?" I guess doubting he was deaf and we made him deaf? I don't know. I say "I don't think so, I know so" and walked away before my blood boiled and I knocked her out!

DId this woman actually think you could "outgrow" profound hearing loss? I am not sure.

This is my first experience with negativity regarding Cormac's implants. The funny part is I always thought it would come from perhaps someone in the deaf community who thought I shouldn't have implanted Cormac. But for someone to be almost seem like they were accusing me of "making" him deaf, well, I was shocked. I have only come across people who are so supportive and amazing about his implants.

Looking back before Cormac could hear.

As I mentioned before, I was asked to be a guest parent speaker for the Summit Speech School fundraiser. I was asked to also get a few pictures together to show during my talk. So, last night I was scrolling through all the pictures I have taken and trying to pick out pictures that defined our journey to date. I was caught quite off guard at how emotional this made me. Tears were streaming down my face as I looked at the first year of life of my children. But, to think that Cormac didn't hear anything. Didn't know we were whispering or talking to him. DIdn't know the sound of our voices or his brothers voices or anything. Man, it just really got to me. I just keep thinking what was he thinking? I mean, he seemed like the happiest child and never seemed to care. I guess it was his normal. But as a parent, it really hurts. I know it was only a year, but when you see how much we did in a year, well it really hits home how much he was missing.

It was reassuring to see this, however. To KNOW we made such a wonderful decision. Before he could hear he missed out on a lot with his brothers because he didn't know they were doing something. To see him today, actively participating or being the ring leader of the three, well, I could cry over that too! It's what I wanted most for him.

I also was watching tons of video clips of him when he first started hearing. There is one of him when he is signing "duck" because he recognized the work duck. He had only been hearing about 8 weeks. To watch it makes me cry. He has come so far that I almost forgot what it was like before he could hear. I don't ever want to forget how far he has come. But on a day to day basis when he is talking in sentences as long as 7 words, well you tend to forget a short 18 months ago he couldn't even say "duck".

There have been so many little moments that have added up to the big picture. But it's important to remember the little moments.

This journey we are travelling has been so rewarding. It's something I would never change. It makes Cormac who he is today. Yes, I wish he heard us when he was little. Yes, I wish he didn't have to have surgery. Yes, I wish he could hear when he is in the water. NO, I wouldn't change a thing about him!