It is cold out there!

I left the house this morning thinking we could go the park and burn off some energy. It was only 38 degrees! No park in that weather. We went "shopping" instead. I say shopping because we really didn't buy much but I was scoping out some stuff for Santa to deliver! Luckily, by the time we were done it warmed up to 50 degrees and we were able to go to the playground.

I didn't think it would get so cold so fast. I am not prepared for the cold yet. I still have to get the boys warm jackets.

I made all three boys day. I bought them new shoes. Now, you might think it's weird that a pair of shoes could make a boys day, right? Well, they are not just any shoes. They are red fireman shoes that light up. What more could a boy want?? Check them out. Really, when Colin saw them he just melted. How could I resist?




Did you notice the flames?? How funny. Now I know how to make a 2 1/2 year olds day.

Remember I told you Cormac tried to put his "behind the ear" on himself? Here's how he did it? How adorable is he? So, he didn't get it behind his ear but he had the idea and could hear so it's half the battle.



See how is stuck on directly on his ear? Not too bad.

Things are looking up!

Day two with big boy ears was a great success. He slept with one of them Monday night. When I went in to get him out of his crib he had put it back on himself. It was so cute because instead of sticking it behind his ear he stuck it to his actual ear. We use tape on the back to keep it on his ear. I thought the battery would have been dead but I started talking to him and he was answering me. Finally, I said, "Can you hear me?" and he says "I hear you".

He left them on the entire day with very little problems. THey stayed on great. The only thing he doesn't like is when I put them on his head. For some reason he gets annoyed when we have to reappply one but other than that he is fine.

Today is Wednesday and he didn't give us ANY trouble at all. AT school he didn't fuss with them once. They stay on all day. I don't think I realized how often I had to replace his magnets on the old implants. These magnets stay on soooo much better and the coil is so short it doesn't get caught on anything.

I was totally second guessing myself on Monday but no am thrilled with our decision. He seems to already be used to them. He is usually a go with the flow kid and once again proved he can deal with almost anything.

I pray for continued success!

Cormac's big day...

We headed to NYU to have Cormac's new processors mapped. He was very excited in the car. Love riding in Frank's car. Daddy sat in the back with him.

He talked the entire way into the city. That's me and Cormac on the way to NYU.
He was happy as a clam in the waiting area. Played, ran, talked, pretended to be a lion and sang. You gotta hear this one:




But it was getting closer and closer to nap time. Bad timing on our part but we don't really have much control over the time of our appointments. We wanted this appointment ASAP because we were excited to get him his new "ears". He was fine at first. Playing and talking with Rose and Carie. He let us put the BTE's (behind the ears) on for a while. As time went by and exhaustion set in he started not wanting them on. He kept pulling them off. I was prepared for him to put up some resistance. (Ok, I was secretly hoping he wouldn't even notice)

I am hoping with the tiredness and crankiness came the resistance. He did leave them on for a while when bribed with some treats. For the first time in a LONG time he drove in the car in silence. He melted down so bad he could not regain control no matter what we tried. BUT he also couldn't hear us talking to him. He finally passed out COLD in the car for some of the ride. I transferred him to his crib and he is out for the count.

I plan to let him sleep for as long as he wants and start over again. I keep thinking once he realizes he no longer has to wear a shirt and can still hear it will make a big difference. Maybe I will let him run around naked (well, a diaper) to show him he can hear without wearing his onesie. I told him he could pick out a toy so we plan to go to Target tonight to let him choose a toy. (now, you know I will have to buy three because Ciaran and Colin won't understand.

Ok, so things are looking up! After his nap he let me put his ears on. He wasn't too upset. THe whole family headed to Target to pick out his (their) special presents. On the way we watched an Elmo DVD in the car and Cormac told Frank "Daddy, I can hear it with my new implants" and was pointing to his ears. He kept them on the entire time and never even tried to get them off.

Here he is all smiles showing off his new truck.



And of course, Ciaran and Colin got a new toy as well


At the end of the night I let him run around in his diaper with no shirt on to show him he didn't need it anymore since he got his "big boy ears". He proceeed to get naked and sing and dance the hokey pokey while only wearing red socks. Of course, you won't be seeing video of the nudist!

Anyway, I let him throw out his onesie so he never has to wear it again!!

Here he is ditching it in the garbage!



I guess it could have been better and could have been worse. He seemed fine tonight. Hopefully, tomorrow will go smoothly.

What's in your refridgerator??

So, have you ever seen MTV cribs? You know, they go to celebrities houses and they show off all their wealth. They ALWAYS show what's in their fridge. In all the time I have seen it no one has ever had what was in our fridge....

Could it be Cristal Champagne? Yeah, right. This is me and Frank you are talking about.



Could it be lots of beer all lined up neatly? Ok, this might happen in this house but not today.



No, what we had in our fridge isn't even edible!
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We have Cormac in our fridge!

Fascinating and Amazing...

I know what you are thinking.... I am describing myself, right?? No, these are just two of the words the boys have used in the last few days that cracked me up. Now, it didn't sound perfect when they said it but I got the idea. Another funny one, Ciaran got out of the bath and said he was "freezing". He normally says cold. Frank says he got this one from me since I am always "freezing".

Ciaran has also decided that the car seat in Frank's car is his "favorite". Colin and I went out alone last night and he said we were on a "date"??? Can you imagine? Each day the words get more interesting. Another new over used sentence: "I did it alllllll by myself." Well, usually, since they still refer to themselves in the third person it's more like "ree ree did it allllll by myself". I used Ciaran since he originated this sentence and the other two have picked up on it recently. Only problem, if you try and help Ciaran it turns into a meltdown.

Last night, Cormac woke up at 3:30am. We never have anyone awake at night in this house but he was yelling. I went and got him and took him in our room so he wouldn't wake up the other two. Mind you, in the pitch black I am searching for his processors so he can hear me. Looking for batteries that are charged since his died while sleeping with them. The TV was on in our room (yes, I sleep with the TV on every night) and Spiderman the movie was on. Cormac proceeds to say "Spiderman" with the most perfect sounding "S" in the beginning. Frank and I, as groggy as we were, both noted how clear he said it. He proceeded to tell us he wanted to watch Kipper the DOg. And all his speech seemed perfect. Now, I took Nyquil last night so I might have been in a haze but it sounded great. We settled on Barney (and man, do I hate that stupid dinosaur) because it was on the Sprout Channel. We were saved about 30 minutes later by an emergency test of the TV. The TV went black. I told Cormac Barney went to sleep and had to sleep too. HE laid between Frank and I and went to sleep. I put him back in his crib after a few minutes. Nothing like a little Barney break while loopy on Nyqil in the middle of the night.

We are heading to the first of our Halloween celebrations tomorrow. Stay tuned for pictures...

"Mommy, I had too much fun...

I am sooo tired". This is what Ciaran told me on Saturday before his nap and it kind of sums up the entire weekend. We had a fun filled fall themed weekend. Really my favorite time of year. There are so many things to do.

Saturday morning we went apple and raspberry picking with some friends, including Zak. He's about 6 months older than the boys. It was such a beautiful day to be out in the fresh air. Frank and I were a little rough around the edges because we went to a wedding the night before and had a designated driver.....need I say more?? But we had these plans already so we powered thru our hangovers with some greasy McDonalds. The boys didn't get McDonalds. They had a nice healthy breakfast before we left. Frank and I took a few years off our lives with breakfast on Saturday morning.

Sunday we had tickets for The Great Jack o Lantern Blaze in Croton on Hudson, NY. It was really a cool experience. Thousands of carved pumpkins all illuminated. You walk through the entire thing. They had pumpkins carved in the dinosaurs, spiders, spider webs, fish. You name it and they had it. It was amazing. Cormac was a little scared at some points but nothing too bad. Only problem is we didn't bring the stroller because we figured they would never want to be in it. Well, for the first time EVER they asked for their stroller. I guess their little legs were tired from all the walking. I carred Cormac through most of it. My arms are KILLING me today. I guess it was a good work out.

Today, Monday, we headed to the zoo just to do something. They got to pick a pumpkin, ride the carosel, ride ponies and take the choo choo. Quite the packed day. They ran the entire zoo for 2 hours.

Enjoy the slideshow of our weekend.

We should all be this happy in life....

Everyone should have something that makes them this deliriously happy. We don't know why Cormac found this particular scene on Kipper so funny but we all watched it about 25 times in a row just to hear this laugh!

If you don't know Kipper he's one the Sprout Network. Our boys watch very little TV but when they do it is always the same shows: Caillou, Kipper and Noddy

It's strange because Kipper is an English cartoon and the dog has an English accent. He was actually laughing at Pig and Arnold in this episode. You will see I took video of the TV. I played him this video this morning and he had the same reaction and started laughing all over again! The boy in the red robe and PJ's whose butt keeps coming on screen is Colin. You will notice him launching himself off the back of the couch.

Watch the whole thing to really hear him laugh especially when you see the pig on the tv listen to him in the background.



SO, now that you watched it. Can you think of something that makes YOU laugh that hard? Or makes you THAT silly and happy?

For me, it's getting to watch the silly and happy moments my boys enjoy. I get to see life through the eyes of three two years olds. They still see the wonder of the world. They still still think life is simple. They are happy to be kids and happy to do kid stuff. I think it's great to get to look at the world through their eyes once in a while.

Horns and Elmo

What ever possessed me to buy the boys horns??? They were in the dollar bins at Target. One is a basketball, one a soccer ball and the other a baseball. Well, I took them away from them months ago because the constant noise of three of the most enoying horns going 24/7 was too much for this Mamma to bear. Don't you know, they frigin' found them today? So, as I type this Ciaran and COlin are in their cribs and are supposed to be sleeping but instead are HONKING away. I am giving them 5 more minutes and going in to remove the horns from their cribs. I must have lost my mind giving them horns. For the most part most things don't bother me but man, these are really annoying. Here is a little clip of what the day sounded like....


On to Elmo. At The Miracle Walk we got to meet Elmo. Check out Cormac when he spotted Elmo. Notice Colin and Ciaran. They were clearly not as thrilled as Cormac.

The Little Drummer Boy

If you don't own THe Parent's Magazine Bee Bop Band Toy I suggest running to the store and buying one immediately. That said, I should have bought three but you never know what is going to be a hit and what is going to flop. Also, you might not want this toy if you don't want a lot of noise. We have been doing "marching band" for days since I bought this toy. Ciaran is really liking the drum. I have had a few battles over who gets to be the drummer.

The Miracle Walk

We will be walking in The Miracle Walk on Sunday. All the proceeds go to benefit the NICU at St Barnabas Medical Center. The boys were born at St. Barnabas and Cormac spent 21 days feeding and growing while Colin and Ciaran spent 28 days feeding and growing. We cannot say enough about the wonderful care given to our boys by the staff at St Barnabas. While we were fortunate to have healthy babies despite being born over 8 weeks earlier without the amazing knowledge and equipment we might not be so lucky.

If you would like to donate please click here to view my personal page. Any donations will be greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance,

The Lawrence Family

"Dukie Boy is sad...

he miss Duchess" Out of the mouths of babes. That is what Colin said to me yesterday. Nearly broke my heart but it could not be a truer statement. Duke is totally depressed. At night he lays on the couch and every once and a while will just whimper. His eyes look so sad. I am hoping he bounces back.

The boys now know Duchess is not coming back. I told them she went to doggie heaven and is running and playing with lots of toys. They seemed OK with that explanation. I guess they are so young they really don't know the difference. I am thankful for them not really gettting it.

Let's see. What else have we been up to:

Cormac is getting his implants upgraded. (only the outside processors, no surgery required. THis has been a question) Currently, he wears a body word processor. I sew two pockets on the back of all his onesies and the processors are in the pockets. It's a little cumbersome for him but when he was fist implanted it was the only logical choice. The behind the ear option was just too large for his little ears. Recently, he has decided he doesn't want to wear a oneise. He gets all upset when you try and put it on especially after a bath when his brothers are running around with just a diaper. He wants to hear, but not the shirt. SO, we are going to be getting him BTE's (behind the ears). I am hoping he doesn't hate having something behind his ears. Hopefull, the connection will be made quickly and he will know he can't hear without his new "ears".

Of course, with any new adventure comes anxiety for me. I never was worried about him losing his body worn processors. They were in pockets in his shirt. Now, they are exposed. He can reach them. He can throw them. He can do whatever he pleases with them. This terrifies me. A two year old walking around with $10,000 worth of equipment is insane. But this is our reality. I am hoping we can get to NYU quickly to get them mapped. He can't wear them until they are mapped.

I am a reader of a blog called Confessions of a CF Husband. I have followed their story for months. It's been an amazing journey this family has been on. He blogged about a site called Squiddo. They are having a contest and giving away $80,000 to charity. Click here to visit the site and take your pick of charities. I chose the March of Dimes for three very beautiful obvious reasons. I figure it can't hurt to give publicity to a worthy cause. You don't need to register or join. Just place your vote.

Duchess passed away today.

We are so sad. I can't even put it into words. She was only 5 years old. She was the sweetest dog ever. She just couldn't bounce back from the infection she developed. She was no longer eating, drinking and she could no longer stand on her own. She was laying on the kitchen floor wimpering. It was too much to handle and not fair for her to continue on in her condition. We put her down this afternoon.

Ciaran has asked at least 10 times "where Duchess is?". I don't know what to tell him yet. They are only 2 1/2 years old so they don't get it. He just wants her to come home. We all just want her to come home.

She will be missed by everyone in our family. Here are some pics of her along with her best friend, Duke. I am not sure how Duke is going to get along without her. THey have been together since birth and have never been apart since. I hope he can handle it.

 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

Look out, Hugh Heffner.....

Here come the Lawrence Boys. Holly, Bridget and Kendra will not be able to resist my three! (For those that don't know, Holly, Brigdet and Kendra are Hugh's "girlfriends".

We received bath robes as a gift for Christmas last year from Frank's Aunt Mary and Uncle John. They were perfect sized for this year. We used them for the first time today. The boys got such a kick out of them. They have never worn a robe before so they were quite fascintated.

Check them out...

So, we watched some TV yesterday morning. Angelina the Ballerina was on Sprout. We have never seen this show since we watch very little TV. My Dad stopped by yesterday for some dinner and the boys wanted to show off their new moves....



Cute, right? I think I will draw the line at tu-tu's!!!

Life with 3

Three times the hugs.
Three times the laughter.
Three times the crying.
Three times the kisses.
Three times the poopy diapers.
Three times the love.
Three times the mess.
Three times the mommy guilt.
Three time the noise level.
Three times the fighting.
Three times the making up after fighting.
Three times the toys.
Three times unexpected running hugs from across the room.
Three times the tackling from across the room.
Three times the joy.
Three times the sadness when they all go off to school together.
Three times the college education all at once.
Three all driving at the same time totally freaks me out.
Three times the trips to the ER apparently when you have three boys.
SIX times the grocery bill....no, that's not a typo.
Six hands and thirty fingers always grabbing something. Try traveling with an Octopus or two to the grocery store and you will understand!
Six socks to keep track of each day and night. Not an easy task when they keep taking them off in different places.
Six shoes that seem to disappear with six socks.

I have noticed in the past 2 1/2 years I count in threes. I can't stop myself. In my head as I am doing things I am saying 1,2,3 coats, 1,2,3 shirts, 3,6 socks. It like I have no control over it any longer. WHen doing the laundry I make sure all the "3's" get washed in the same load, you know all three of the same thing. If they don't it throws me off and I can't seem to find all matching when I want it. Yes, they are still dressed alike almost 99% of the time. But at this point I do it so they won't fight over who wears what. Inevitably, they ALL want the red shirt when there is a red, blue and green. For me, just easier to keep dressing them alike. WHen they ask to NOT be dressed alike or don't fight over clothes I will stop dressing them alike. (ok, I will still do coordinating....)

ALso, it's much easier keep track of them when they are dressed alike. It safer. I don't have to remember what shirt each is wearing. Just one shirt. Freaks me out when I get somewhere and the ARE NOT wearing the same clothes. I get all panicky like I will forget what to look for on the playground. I know, I sound nuts, but it's my reality.

Ever wonder what dinner time is like with tripets?

Watch this video........





Actually, this is not what dinner time usually looks like at our house. Frank wasn't home and we were eating without him. The boys had just finished their ice cream. Can you say sugar rush??????

And if you were watching closely, yes, those are ice cream hand prints on the wall behind Cormac. Did I never mention he is the ice cream Picasso? Our house needs a good wipe down after every meal, that I will admit!

On the mend (thankfully)

Our family survived the crazy weekend and is on the mend! Cormac went to the Ortho doc yesterday to follow up on his collar bone. The doctor was amazed at how much he was doing. He is a non stop ball of energy. He learned quickly what he can and cannot do with a busted collar bone. He uses his arm but there are certain things you can see he just can't do. STrapping him into his carseat is close to impossible since the strap hits directly on the broken bone.

Duchess was allowed to come home on Monday night. She is not 100% but is on her way back. She is running and eating (some). Considering I thought she was going to be put to sleep I am so happy with the results. She will continue on antibiotics and will follow up in a few weeks for more blood work.

Today I taught stroller strides. The boys were, of course, with me. At the end we let the kids out of the strollers and we play for a while. My three were running in this big open green field. The moms and I were working on our abs and I notice my curious monkeys are awfully quiet. I look up and they found THE ONLY MUD PUDDLE within a 5 miles radius. These boys are ALL BOY. I yell over "what are you three up to?" Colin says" Jumping in Puddles". Splash Splash. AT that point it was to late to intervene so they had a ball. I had to strip them down to their diapers for the car ride home. How is it they can always find the mischief? They are like moths to a flame! Everyone always says "boys will be boys." I guess they are correct. We had to have baths before lunch!

So my birthday was Monday. Another year older. Who cares, right? I know i don't care. This birthday was extra special because it was the first birthday the boys were able to wish me a happy birthday! Last year, they weren't really talking well enough. This year I was serenaded several times with the birthday song (mostly by Cormac. He's really into singing at the moment)

You'll notice there isn't one of Ciaran. While he can say anything he won't look at the camera and say ANYTHING! He is a little bugger!

Here's Cormac. It takes a while to get to the singing while he adjusts his guitar! (notice the lovely pink guitar. It's Cailan's. Oh, and remember he has a broken collar bone in this video.)



Here's Colin. He wouldn't sing. But he says "happy birthday". We were at Robin's house



Here's one more of Cormac. He was really into singing!

I couldn't make this sh@T up!

My weekend was spent in emergency rooms of both the human and animal type. It went something like this:

Frank leaves for a camping trip. (with no cell service, I might add)
Duchess, who has been sick for a few days, has a vet appt on Friday afternoon. I take the triplets with me since Frank is not here. My Mom and nephew were with me to entertain the troops while I was dealing with the doctor.
They do blood work run all types of tests and send us home until the blood work comes back the next morning. They also give her a fluid with B12 injection to help her out. She had not had anything to eat since Monday and it was now friday.

I take Duchess and the boys home. Settle them in to bed and have to carry Duchess into the house. She was in bad shape. I keep her in bed with me so I can be near her overnight. Duke is now throwing his body against the basement door because I have Duchess upstairs. After an hour, I am convinced Duke is going to wake the kids so I surrender and let him in the bed too. Because having all three kids up screaming is worse then him hogging the bed.

Duchess didn't really sleep at all. By Midnight she is crying and whimpering. I am crying with her. I don't know what to do for the poor dog. I am by myself. My Mom was leaving on a plane at about 5 am. I call her at 3:30am to say I think the dog is dying. I am now in hysterics. She can't do anything since she is boarding a plane. There was really nothing I could do but wait for the morning to come so I could take her back to the vet.

By 7:10am my three kids were up and out at Aunt Robin's house. Not what she was expecting at 7 on a Saturday morning. I carry Duchess to the car and have her there when the doors open at 8am. They said she would not live through the weekend if I didn't admit her for fluids/antibiotics. They believe she has a severe infection called Leptospirosis. Very scary. Amongst my tears and fears I try and get Frank on the phone. I needed to talk to someone else. The vet bill is going to astronomical and we really don't have the money for it. But how can I not try and save this poor dog?? She is only 5. If it was something like Cancer, I could see but here they are telling me they think they can help.

I call Nadine and she tracks down the campground and they locate Frank and wake him up in his tent. At this point he thinks Duchess has passed away and I am calling to tell him. I had already made the decision to admit her so it didn't matter any longer. But he was relieved to hear they might be able to help her. He had this trip planned forever. He didn't want to go on Friday but I made him. I really didn't think things would take such a turn for the worse. But when have I EVER been right???

Ok. Dog situation under control. I slept not a wink on Friday night. So by yesterday when I went to sleep I had been up for like 38 hours straight.

This morning (sunday) the boys wake up about 7. They always come in my room and drink their milk. We were all laying in the bed. I have a trunk at the foot of my bed. They use it to climb onto my bed. Cormac slipped somehow and he fell to the ground. The cry I heard next was the cry of a hurt child. Not a child who barely fell a foot. He was inconsolable. Again, I am all alone. I call Robin (thank god for Robin and Mike). Mike heads over in a bout 5 minutes and takes Ciaran and Colin back to his house while I head to the ER with Cormac.

He broke his collar bone. I am so upset. I feel so bad for him. They tortured him to get X-rays. I had to rip him off the table and tell them to wait. I had to take his implants off so he couldn't hear and apparently the techs didn't know what "deaf" meant. I told them he could NOT hear them. After the X-rays the poor kid just passed out in my arms and slept.

He is supposed to wear a sling. It was off in 30 seconds flat. They can't do anything for him except give him Motrin. How sad is that? The Motrin really did work. He is sleeping comfortably right now. However, he can't be strapped into a car seat on his right side because the strap pulls down right over the broken spot. The doctor said he will be in pain for about a week so continue the Motrin. After a week it heals enough so he won't be in pain. Takes 4-6 weeks to heal completely.

Frank calls while I am in the ER. He assumes I mean the ANIMAL ER. I say, no, the human ER. He cannot believe the only weekend he chooses to go away since we had the babies happens to be the weekend of all this happening. He feels terrible. I am exhausted.

Now, the weekend is over yet. What else can go wrong????

Summit Speech School

I came home Thursday and received my mail. There was somthing from Summit Speech School. I open the envelope and what do I see???



Cormac is on the front of their Annual Fund Raiser! In the inside it says "Believing is hearing Cormac make his first sounds in our Parent-Infant Program." How cool is that????

Now for the important part. If you would like to donate to th 2008-2009 Annual fund please click here. Summit is an amazing place. We would not be where we are today if not for the wonderful staff at Summit SPeech School.

This one is for the books!

I get the boys up and ready to head to Stroller Strides. We arrive and I take Cormac out of the car. He is soaked. I know he didn't drink water and spill it and I can't imagine in the 20 minute car ride he could have soaked through his diaper. I investigate more..... HE HAS NO DIAPER ON! NOTHING!! I KNOW I put a diaper on this boy because he took it off once before I could get his pants on him. He had on a onesie snapped around his bare little bottom! He is like a lil' Houdini. How on earth he got his diaper off from under a snapped onesie AND his pants remains a mystery. I guess I need to keep a close on him.

Two other Mom's got a huge laugh at the situation. I was cracking up. I didn't have any extra clothes with me but luckily Reema was able to give me a pair of pants. Yes, they were girl's pants but he loved them and thought it was great he was wearing Leila's pants! Thank God, I found him when I did. About an hour later he comes running across the park and says "mommy, GIANT poopy!" And he wasn't kiddin'.

Angels Above

I have been following the story of a little boy named Jack. A friend of mine has a son who was in the hospital with Jack. She told me about his Care Page. He is very sick and has been hospitalized for almost the entire first year of his life. He recently received his second transplant. The first was not successful. This little boy is fighting for his life. His parents post on a Care Page and I have to say I wait for updates even though I don't know him personally.

His parents have been through so much. They are strong people. They along with Jack are fighters. The Mom posted an update the Care Page today and it had me in tears. It reminded so much of my own story of being pregnant with triplets and not knowing the outcome. I know a sick child and being pregnant cannot be compared but I wanted to share her post and then tell you a story so similar. Here is her post:

Day +7 (Take II)
Posted 9 hours ago
Hello all you Jack fans. While driving back to CHOP after my grandfather’s funeral, I was thinking of what I could include in today’s post. There are so many feelings floating around inside me. It’s almost as though this emotional roller coaster we’re riding keeps getting scarier…extra loops, faster speeds, steeper drops. One minute I feel like I couldn’t possibly be more optimistic (Jack will be OK – I just know it.) and the next minute I’m rubbing Jack’s head with tears rolling down my face thinking the unthinkable (What if Jack gets to the point where his body can’t fight any longer?).

Being surrounded by family and friends over the past two days was emotionally exhausting. Finally able to receive personal hugs from people who have been supporting us from a distance for so many months was harder than I imagined it would be. Reading messages posted on the board gives us a sense of how many people care, but being face to face with those same people made me realize how many hearts ache for my baby, for my family. As weird as this may sound, last night, my twilight zone life became real.

Walking up to my grandfather’s casket was easier than I thought it was going to be. I’ve always dreaded the day where I’d have to say goodbye to him, but it wasn’t anything like I imagined. As I looked at my grandpa lying there all I could say to him was, “Please take care of Jack. Watch out for him. Do your magic. I know you have it in you.” And I felt guilty for not saying “I love you and I’ll miss you. Thanks for all you’ve always done for me – for our family over the years.” Of course I eventually said those things, but initially, my mind went right to Jack, as it always does. Jack consumes every minute of my life. I walked around the funeral home sick to my stomach wondering how I could possibly handle being at my son’s funeral if it ever came to that.

My dad gave a beautiful Eulogy this afternoon. For those of you who don’t know my dad, he’s the dad every bride dreams of her husband becoming. His heart is bigger than his 6’2”, 200+lb body. For years, my dad took care of my grandfather and the way he spoke about his dad just made me proud to be his daughter. At one point during the Eulogy he told a story about my grandfather’s last night. Grandpa woke up out of a deep sleep and asked if Jack had died. He woke up a few times that night asking the same question, each time being reassured the baby was fine. Early the next morning, he passed away. As my dad shared this story (between tears), he proceeded to say it was Grandpa’s time to go because he truly believed he had to make sure Jack would be OK. As I listened to my dad speak tears rolled down my face and I began to feel less guilty. He just lost his dad, but he shared my feelings. He too was thinking of Jack and how my grandfather’s job now is to get Jack healthy.

I’ll try to hold on to that thought over the next few days. It’s been a week since Jack’s transplant and although he’s been stable for five or six days, there are a ton of things that can go wrong. He’s very fragile and one step in a backwards direction can be fatal. We need him to start engrafting, but once he does we worry about leaky vessels because he’s already so puffy as it is. We worry about infection and possible risks for infection – like his central lines, foley catheter, and ventilator which has already caused a positive culture for pseudomonas. We worry the Tobramycin the Infectious Disease doctors started today for Jack's pseudomonas won't work and it will spread to his blood stream. We worry about fevers. We worry about Jack's blood pressure. We worry about his huge liver getting in the way of his new stem cells finding their way to Jack’s bone marrow. We worry about Jack’s kidneys. We worry about breakdown and blistering that is occurring on Jack’s skin. We worry about the disease and whether it’s still overly active. The list can go on and on. We just worry day and night.

Everything needs to go very smoothly over the next week or so. No setbacks at all. I had a conversation with one of the PICU attendings when I got back to the hospital this afternoon. She looked at me with “BooBoo” eyes, which Chad and I have grown accustomed to. She told me straight out that she is concerned that Jack may not make it through this transplant. They are not giving up on him, but the reality of it is that he is very critical.

We know how sick Jack is. We’re not denying that. But we also know how much of a fighter Jack is. He’s been through so much and has continued to beat the odds. We believe in him and his strength. Please continue to pray, and send Jack all the positive energy you can. Also, talk to your angels – I know I will be.

Thanks for your continued support. I apologize for my rambling during this update. I know it’s not a normal “Kristy & Chad” post but the days we are living are everything but normal.

Love, Kristy

P.S. Please continue posting messages to Jack. He needs to hear how many people are cheering him on. Positive upbeat messages of encouragement mean so much.


I believe her grandfather will take care of Jack. Here is why I identified with her story so much:

When I was pregnant with the triplets my Nana was nearing her 99th birthday. She was perfectly healthy and doing great in October. I found out I was pregnant in September and shared the news with her. She was excited and nervous and couldn't believe I was having three babies. By December her health turned for the worse. It was fast we really didn't see it coming. But she was almost 99 years old. A few days befor I was put on bedrest I went with Frank to visit her in the hospital. I became so emotional and overwhelmed Frank made me leave. I didn't even recognize my Nana. Things went so quickly. It was a Wenesday night. Friday afternoon on my way home from work (it was my last day) I decided I needed to stop and see her. I knew she didn't have much time but I needed to see her again. I was alone. When I got to the hospital no one was there. Both my father and uncles were on their way.

I went into her room and she was very peaceful. Still hanging on. I sat down next to her and started talking to her. I asked her to please watch over me and the babies. I asked her to do all she could to help me make it through this pregnancy with three healthy babies.

At this point I had not told ANYONE what we were planning on naming the babies. I decided she needed to know. I held her hand and told her they would be named : Ciaran Thomas, Colin Francis and Cormac Robert. As soon as I told her the last name she took her last breath. The nurses came in and said she was gone but I already knew. I firmly believe she is the reason I have three healthy beautiful boys today. I also believe she hung on long enough so I could tell her her last three great granchildren's names. She has 12 great grandchildren all togther.

ANway, this happened on December 23rd and although that Christmas was so for all our family. The story I shared with my family made everyone feel a little better. I wasn't blogging at the time and wanted to make sure I wrote this memory down so it is never forgotten.

Kristy, Jack's mom, reminded me of this story.

So, to everyone who reads this, I ask only one thing of you today. Please talk to your "angels" and ask them to keep an eye on Jack.

The talking never stops!

Our house is soooo noisy. I waited for the day the boys would start talking. Now, I find myself thinking, "will they ever stop talking!" I swear, if there is a long pause or silence in this house I KNOW it means trouble. They have found something they shouldn't have and are playing. They got into a food closet and are stuffing their faces with food they shouldn't be eating. Anyway you look at it if there is silence in this house and it's NOT nap/bed time you can bet you last dollar trouble is in the works. I have noticed only ONE exception to this rule. It happens after dinner and if we have ice cream. It is the sweetest silence you have ever heard. NOt a peep out of anyone until the bottom of the bowl!

Don't get me wrong, I love to hear them talking. I prayed Cormac would actually talk. I spent countless hours thinking in my head "will they be delayed because they were born early". You just never know. But we have been so fortunate. This constant noise is a reminder of how blessed we are to have three healthy children. Sure, there are moments when I want to go to the library alone so I can hear nothing. Or when I get in the car by myself and choose not to put on the radio so I can hear myself think. But all in all the noise makes me happy. Happy to be around such happy little voices. Each day the vocabulary words are greater and greater. Each day someone says something I can't believe they said because I am amazed how much they know.

Our theme of the week is the jungle. We have talked about the jungle. Read about the jungle. Made jungle animal masks. We have colored jungle animals but the cutes thing is how the actually say the work jungle.

My three little men are surely growing up. Toddlerhood is challenging but so rewarding.

Now, if only they LISTENED as well as they could talk!

Angels or Devils?? Depends on the day

Yesterday, Frank had to work late and wouldn't be home for dinner. I took the opportunity to skip cooking and headed to the mall to get a gift for a bridal shower. I figure, I will feed the kids while we were out. My very cooperative two year olds stayed nicely in the stroller for our trip through the China department at Macy's. I had to strategically place the stroller in places where six little arms that seem to be 10 feet long had NO access to any displays.

With my gravy boat in hand we head to the food court. Now, our options were not full of healthy options. But for the most part my kids eat pretty darn healthy so once in a while we can splurge. They asked for hot dogs. I wheel the bus otherwise known as our stroller, to Nathan's. I realize they have mini corn dogs and order them for the boys with some french fries. Doesn't a "corn" dog count as a vegetable??? Anyway, they decide they DONT want to sit in the stroller but want to sit in "big boy chairs". This scares me. I am alone in the mall and if they all decide to run who do I chase first??? I decide to let them out. I guess yesterday was an Angel day. They sat perfectly in their "big boy chairs" and ate their food. Not once did they even attempt to get down. I was one proud but hungry Mama. You see, I wouldn't eat a hot dog if you paid me and forgot to get myself something BEFORE I let the all out the stroller. I couldn't exactly leave three two year olds at a table in the food court while I found something to eat.

For their stellar behaviour they were rewarded with Pretzel Bits from Wetzels Pretzels. And mommy got her dinner, a cinnamon/sugar pretzel with sweet glaze. I couldn't have been happier....

Now, for the Devil day....

We had a great morning. I worked out at the park. I even bought the boys their own exercise bands and they "exercise" while I do. They were wonderful angels. We head to Whole Foods for the Mom meet and greet for Stroller Strides. A representative from a new fresh food company for children was giving a little presentation while the kids snacked. Not so much. We were in a section of Whole Foods with booths and we were near the bathroom along with a Water Fountain. My kids beelined to the water fountain along with some friends. Ok, they were turning it on and off. Not so bad. Ok, they splashed some. I told them to stop. Ok, WHERE DID THEY GET CUPS???? Colin was filling a cup and throwing the water in the air! Right over his head. I nearly died. I removed him from the situation which caused a melt down in the middle of Whole Foods. Ciaran and Cormac were also "throwing" water but they got over it quickly. Colin took a full 10 minutes and we finally left once he calmed down.

Last night when Frank got home I told him how great our dinner was as the mall. How they sat so perfect, yadda yadda, yadda. I said I think we are really turing a corner..... I guess I jinxed myself!

Ciaran and some other photos/videos

I have made so many references to Ciaran's little face and how he can't smile without closing his eyes. Here is a picture I took yesteday. You will see exactly what I mean. If you click on the picture it will enlarge.

 

Here is my Mom and the boys. That's a hard shot to get. Notice they are little chocolatey (yes, I know that's not a word). She bribed them with cookies.

 

Here's Grandma and Cormac on the boardwalk last week.

 

Here's a video of Cormac singing his ABC's. First he is saying letters and their sounds and then starts talking.



Here are ciaran and colin being silly

What makes us unique?

Each and everyone of us is different. No two people are the same. Even identical twins have different personalities. Having triplets makes me think every day to make sure each child realizes his own "uniqueness" and doesn't think we think of them as a "set".

Most people do refer to them as "the triplets". I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing. They ARE triplets and this in itself makes them unique. So, it is something we talk about. I tell the boys they are triplets and explain it in simple language they hopefully can understand. At least twice a day I am asked if "they are twins". (referring to Colin and Ciaran) At this point, they all answer "no, we are triplets!" Kind of cute. But I also make a point of pointing out each one and telling their indivdual names.

What makes us unique can also make us different. Kids don't usually want to be different. They don't want to stand out. They want to be like everone else. (especially teens). I think as the boys grow up they will learn to love the idea they are triplets. I certainly hope so. My hope is they realize how lucky they re to have each other. To always have someone with them at school or on the same team. To never feel alone. On the other hand I want them to feel OK about having their own friends and not feeling obligated to only play with their brothers.

Having their own "uniqueness" is also identifying what makes them each individual. Cormac is unique, not different, for his deafness and his implants. I want him to feel comfortable knowing who he is and nothing was ever WRONG with him. We considered him perfect from the moment we laid eyes on his chubby lil' face.

Isn't it strange that part of what makes them unique is being a triplet but I spend time trying to figure out how not to consider the a "unit"? Truly, they are all so different and have no personality traits in common. They do, however, all speak the same way. They use the same phrases, say the same phrases incorrectly and so on. I am noticing the phrases and way they speak sounds just like Frank and I sound. I guess we are their speech models so it makes sense.

We do have little problem with how they are speaking lately. Most of you know but we have two dogs who are the cutest in the world BUT they listen to NOTHING. I am yelling at them all day long. Frank and I tend to say "go downstairs, NOW, Go upstairs, NOW. You get it. We would never talk that way to the kids. Recently, Ciaran started saying "Juice or milk or cookie Now." I also call the dogs "bad dogs" and have NEVER called the boys bad and never would. When one of the boys does something wrong the other two call him bad boy. I correct it everytime and say they are not "bad" but being naughty or mischievious or any other word than bad. I think Frank and I need to change how we talk to and about our four legged babies.

As for Cormac, his deafness does not define him. It is part of him. Part of him we embrace. Ciaran and Colin will benefit from seeing their brother overcome the obstacles before him. THey will learn anything is possible with hard work. I hope they will learn to respect other people differences. It's the differences that make us who we are as people. Wether you need glasses, hearing aids, implants, or maybe you need braces. Hey, I had red hair and trust me, it wasn't in fashion to be a red head in the 80's! It doesn't matter. Who you are is what is inside your heart. It is how you treat people. It's how deeply you love and are loved It is how you view the world. One should never be defined by their differences.

Ok, on a TOTAL other note. I took Cormac to school today. When we got home I went into the family room. My Mom was there with Ciaran and Colin. And the cutest thing ever happened. Ciaran walks up behind Cormac, wraps his arms around him in a hug, puts his head on Cormac's shoulder and says "I missed you, Cormac". It was priceless. And of course, both my mother and I were brought to tears. I think I might be doing something right!

I wonder...

I wonder about a lot of things. Here are some of them:

I wonder how I wound up having triplets.
I wonder how I will know how to raise triplets.
I wonder how we will survive raising triplets!
I wonder how I do more in two hours in the morning than most people do in day.
I wonder if Ciaran will grow up to still love anything to do with a ball.
I wonder if Colin will always want to wear a hat or a glove.
I wonder if Cormac will always be afraid of clowns.
I wonder who will have their poor heart broken first by a girl.
I wonder who will fall in love first.
I wonder if they will all get married.
I wonder if they will all have children.
I wonder if they will all continue to love each other as much as they do now.
I wonder if Cormac will see major advances in hearing loss in his lifetime.
I wonder if they will love school or hate school.
I wonder if they will CHOOSE to go to the same college or want their own place.
I wonder if any of them will get scholarships for college (PLEASE)
I wonder if we will ever be able to build on to our house.
I wonder if Frank will even finish the basement.
I wonder if Frank will someday not have to work so much.
I wonder if I am doing a good job at being a Mommy.
I wonder if other people think my kids are as smart, cute, adorable and funny as I do. (HA HA)
I wonder if Cormac will be interested in pursuing a career having to do with his deafness.
I wonder if people REALLY get how hard Cormac has to work to appear to not even be deaf.
I wonder if Cormac will always want to sleep with his implants on at night even though they fall off and he can't hear.
I wonder if Ciaran will always be as strong willed as he is now.
I wonder if Ciaran will always have that little face of his.
I wonder if Colin's smile will always light up his face.
I wonder if someday they will not be happy they are triplets.
I wonder if someday they will think I was not a good mom.
I wonder if someday they will think I didn't spend enough one on one time with them.
I wonder if they will all realize how blessed they are to be triplets.
I wonder if someday they will realize they have two best friends with them at all times.
I wonder who will like baseball, football, tennis, soccer, golf or any sport.
I wonder if Cormac will want to play contact sports even if he really isn't supposed to play but Frank already said he can play (yikes)
I wonder if I will cry when they go to school (really if you knew me that's not one to wonder about)
I wonder if I will like my future daugter in laws
I wonder what it would be like to have a daugter!
I wonder what life would be like without my sons and can't really imagine it any other way.
I WONDER IF THEY KNOW JUST HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM!

This post is for my mother....

She will be glad she was not here for these pictures. The stickiness would push her over the edge! This is what I call fun for three two year olds....





Three two year olds proceed to eat three GIANT lollipops...Check out their legs..
Colin

Ciaran

Cormac



Three two year olds tire themselves out eating lollipops!
Colin


Cormac



Ciaran



Three two year olds went DIRECTLY to the bathtub when we arrived home. Frank got a huge kick out of them when we pulled into the driveway!

Little Quirks

I am sure everyone who has children knows each child has their own little quirkiness (is that a word?) To let you know the boys better I thought I would share some of their strangeness!

Colin is obsessed with wearing certain items. Of course, it's not some T-shirt or shorts. At the moment he is very attached to gardening gloves. And they are my gardening gloves. He wears a glove or two when we go out and play, to stroller strides, the eat. You name it and he has the glove on. It used to be a Fireman puppet but he lost interest in the puppet. He also used to wear a red baseball cap 24/7. Colin found a NY Yankee hat from when he was a baby. Needless to say, it is way too small but somehow he squeezes his head into that hat and wears it around. He looks so funny in it but he doesn't care. He has been wearing it for the last three days.

Cormac is fascinated by towels. I know, really weird, but he likes to take the dish towels and lay them out flat on the table or the floor. Or he will wrap it around his waist but it CAN'T be folded! He now likes to put one down on the table as a placemat before he eats. NOw, if you knew Cormac, this would be especially hysterical to you because neatness while eating is not one of Cormac's strong point. He is the one COVERED in food at the end of a meal. Today at Target I bought 6 new placemats so he now has his own! Now, this is gross but I will share it anyway. If you remember, I had so shave Cormac's head because he was pulling his hair out at night. Well, he has always sucked on his two first fingers when he sleeps. He did this while he was pulling his hair which resulted in him sucking on his own hair. Gross, I told you, however he doesn't care. If he gets a hold of a hairbrush he will pull some hairs out and suck on his fingers. I keep thinking some day he is going to puke up a hairball like a cat!

Ciaran doesn't really have any weird behavior that comes to mind. Only thing I can think of is he likes to sleep with his shoes and socks on at nap time. Lord help the person who takes them off. He also likes to sleep in all his clothes, whatever he is wearing at the time. Imagine, winter coat, hat, boots. Yep, last winter he napped in all his outerwear. At night, he will wear his pajamas with no problem but something about his nap, not sure what he is thinking.

I know they will probably kill me when they are older for sharing these strange habits but I have to document it somewhere before I forget.

A lil' mini vacation

I swear, I don't know where the time goes. We have been away alot in the past few weeks. I was at the beach for almost a week. With Cormac's school being on vacation we have ALL our days free and have been taking advantage of all of free time. We have spent tons of time at the park, playground, beach and pool. The boys have really taken to the beach. They love running in the water and playing in the sand. Even Ciaran, who told me "ree ree swimming" because the tiniest bit of his toes touched the water has come around. The last time we were on the beach he was soaking wet playing in the water.

We have built tons of sandcastles though not ONE of them stands for longer than 30 seconds before someone knocks it down. But I guess at two that is the beauty of buidling a sandcastle.

We went to the boardwalk and they were finally big enough to ride some rides by themselves. See the slideshow below for pictures.

Let's see, what can I say about the boys in the last 2 weeks?? Their language is just exploding. They actually are starting to have conversations with each other. (it is hilarious!) Cormac has taken to singing lateley. Not sure if he has a future as a rock star but hey, this boy likes to sing. We get daily serenades of the ABC's and his personal favorite at the moment is "Itsy Bitsy Spider". Colin does NOT like singing and he doesn't really like others to sing around him. Much to his dismay, Cormac doesn't give a crap if Colin gets upset at his singing! He just sings louder while Colin says "no singing, no singing!"

The noise level in our house at times is through the roof. Luckily, it's not usually crying but laughter and yelling while playing. We are working on our "indoor voices". (who am i kidding???)

My Dad watched all three BY HIMSELF yesterday for three hours. He didn't even think he could do it but was pleasantly surprised at how well the all did including himself! He even fed them dinner. Oh, and by the time I got home they all new the difference between a penny, nickel, dime and quarter. He has a metal detector you would use on the beach but to distract them when I was leaving he took them in the yard and the conveniently "found" all kinds of treasures. He was funny out there with them. He promised them if they behaved he would go to the zoo today with us. ANd you guessed it, we were at the zoo bright and early this morning. We rode the train, the carosel and Cormac rode the pony (twice). Cormac got on the horse and with the BIGGEST smile says "Cormac riding horse" Could bring tears to anyone's eyes. I think the man walking him around fell in love with him

Ciaran says "ree ree to big for the carosel" which translates to "I am afraid of the carosel". We made progess today. He let me hold him on the carosel while Colin and Cormac rode their "endangered animals".

My brave Cormac rode the pony and got a second ride when Ciaran bailed at the last minute. He actually sat on the horse and then changed his mind.

Oh, how could I forget??? Colin and Cormac both asked to use the potty yesterday and both peed. We were all so proud! Everyone clapped and we celebrated. Man, my life has really changed! From keggers, to potty parties! Maybe I should start having a drink when the do potty. Feel like the old times....

Cormac has made some great strides in the last few weeks. He has learned to put his magnets back on his head ALL BY HIMSELF!! The expression of pure joy is priceless when he does this. He is soooo proud of himself and we make a HUGE deal out of it. It's funny because now he won't let us take his implants off when he naps or goes to sleep at night. HE gets terribly upset. He will cry and say "no, mommy, Cormac wants ears on". Breaks my heart just a little. BUT the upside is when he wakes up from his nap he puts them on himself and can talk to his brothers in their cribs. Unfortunately, the batteries don't last overnight so in the morning he can't do the same. But i do like the fact he can hear me saying good night when I leave the room. He is really attached to those implants at this point.

I have to say the past few weeks have been just wonderful. I love these kids so much it frightens me. I worry about something EVER happening to any of them. I thank God at LEAST once a day for giving me such amazing little boys. And I also ask him on a regular basis to please take care of them.

We truly have so much fun together. They all are such jokers now and I love to see how they plan to bust someone's chops. I sit and watch their wheels spinning and can tell they are plotting something.

Next week I am going to start my version of "preschool". Just a little something each day to make sure we are learnig some new things. It should be fun.

I have taken a ton of pictures recently. Here is a slideshow. Keep scrolling and you can see some videos

HEre they are riding the firetrucks on the boardwalk:



On the beach:


Colin Hiding:



Cormac talking: