So, today we are driving in the car and Ciaran says "Mommy, Pop Pop needs to get an airplane so he can fly back from Heaven and see us again". Needless to say, it sent me into tears. If only this were possible. At that moment I wished more than anything I could make his dreams come true. But I can't. I never can make it happen. I can only try and keep my Dad's memory alive by telling them about him. About how much he loved them. About how he came by a few times a week to see them. About how he got the biggest kick out of them. About how they always stole his hat and shoes. About how he always brought a newspaper with him and when he left it was usually shredded throughout my house. About how he caught a hammerhead shark. About how much I loved him. ABout what a wonderful man, father, grandfather, brother and son was. I miss him every day. I only hope my boys can grow up and live their lives with as much dignity and love.
It doesn't make sense why some people leave our lives. I hope someday I will understand but it's only been six months and I still don't get it. I still wait for him.
My children are my daily distraction from my sadness. Even though they can drive me nuts it's them I have to thank for laughing each day. For putting a smile on my face. For consistently telling me I am their best friend. For always telling me something silly or funny. But they also are a constant reminder of what we all lost. Ciaran is such a "wallace". He looks just like my Dad.
Make sure to enjoy those you love each day. We just never know how long we will have to spend with them.
2 comments:
This definitely brought tears. I lost my father two months before Aiden was born - it will be two years in Jan. He was my older two children's best bud and taken way too early. Oh how he loved being their grandpa! I'd like to say it does get easier, but I think I'm still getting there myself. My older two will never forget, but like you, I hope I can paint that picture for Aiden of what a great grandpa he never knew. Just keep telling those stories! Hugs to you!
Jennifer, I understand your post completely...with losing my father in law. My kids asked me the other day if they could just call Grandpa on the phone...it just about broke my heart! I think it is great that you are keeping the memories fresh for your kids! Losing a parent is so hard. Keeping you in my thoughts!
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