11:41pm, 11:42pm and 11:43pm on April 6, 2006 are the three minutes that forever changed our lives in a way I never knew was possible. Ciaran was born at 11:41, Colin 11:42 and Cormac 11:43pm.
In some ways it seems like yesterday. In other ways it feels like a lifetime ago. The days can be long but the years are short. I didn't know it was even possible to love anyone as much as I loved them the second I saw them. I remember being so upset because I couldn't hold them. They were quickly taken away within minutes of their birth. I didn't get to even see them until about 1:30 in the morning when they wheeled me on a stretcher into the NICU.
Overwhelming is an understatement. They were so tiny. Ciaran and Colin had lots of black hair all over (including their bodies.) They were born before it normally comes off in utero. Cormac was so well, white. Everything about him was white almost translucent.. He had not a hair on his head and the fairest skin I had ever seen on a baby (until Calleigh was born LOL). When Calleigh was born every nurse and doctor commented how they had never seen such a pale baby. They kept thinking she needed a blood transfusion. Once they saw the rest of the family they realized it was just her. :)
Their personalities have been the same since the day they were born. Ciaran came out peeing from the womb. Colin came out just kind of taking it all in and Cormac came out calm. He looked "fat" compared to the other two because he was the shortest but weighed the most. I have always said they looked like chickens when they were born.
Cormac came home after 21 days and Ciaran and Colin came home after 28 days. I am asked all the time what it was like to have three newborns. Honestly, I know it sounds crazy but I seriously loved that time. I am not saying it was easy by any means but I just loved loved loved it. I knew somewhere in the fog of feeding three babies every 2 hours I would never get this time back. Never get to see them so little again. I just kinda knew I had to take it all in.
To think seven years has is mind boggling. I hope every day I take time to enjoy my kids. I try not to let life get in the way if it is possible. Sometimes it's hard to just stop and smell the roses. I tell them every day I while I am so proud of the little men they are growing up to be I will always miss them as little boys and babies. They promise me they will always be my babies and I know they mean it. They on the other hand are so excited to grow up. They look forward to getting bigger.
I know I can't stop time but I truly wish I could just freeze it for a while. I hope I always get the hugs, cuddles and love they give me now. I have always been told boys love their Mamas.
I want to write each boy a note he can read he is older to learn what he was like at 7.
My little Ciaran,
Where do I start with you? You are such a boy. You love anything to do with sports. You are very good at sports. You are funny. You are a buster. You like to break people's chops and know just how to do it. You have made HUGE leaps this year in school. Reading did not come easy to you. You lacked confidence and when you think you aren't good at something can get easily discouraged. You overcame this obstacle with lots of hard work and encouragement. Your confidence is through the roof and you are reading just where you are supposed to be. Nothing makes me smile more than when we are driving in the car and you start reading the signs around us. You love computers and cam do anything with a computer. You LOVE your sister. I mean, you really love her beyond words. She was not always receptive to all your love. With the changes in Calleigh this year she now feels the same about you. The look on your face when she constantly hugs and kisses you is priceless. You can be a real wiseguy but totally sweet at the same time. Your freckles on your little face make me happy. You are sort of like the energizer bunny. You still say you want to be a cowboy when you grow up. I hope you always stay the happy, energetic, loving boy you are today.
What words can I use to describe you? When you smile your entire face lights up and your eyes twinkle. You have really come into your own this past year. You have developed your own sense of style. You like to pick out your "cool" clothes. Nothing makes you happier than having a big kid give you a compliment. Your are kind and loving. You LOVE to talk and talk some more. You tell stories and ask questions all the time. You are smart. You excel in school. Your feeling are easily hurt. You still hate that you don't get to where hearing aids or cochlear implants. When you get mad you get really mad. Your shoulder slouch when you are mad cracks me up. I try not to laugh when you do it. You love the outdoors. You love anything cammo. You love hiking and fishing. Skateboarding is your favorite thing right now. You are helpful. You want to be a vet when you grow up. You always stay up later at night than your brothers. You spend that time thinking about life. If I come up to your room you are ready to tell me so many stories while I lay with you. Since you got your new beds you have slept every night with Ciaran. Cormac tries to sleep with you guys but I think he wakes up to easily when you guys touch him. He can't hear at night so he is way more sensitive to touch. I hope you continue to look at life they way you do now with such wonder.
What to say?? You are a thinker. You are like a sponge. You take everything in and are able to recall it after learning it one time. You are silly. You love to tell jokes. Your brain is fascinating to me. It is always at work. Schoolwork comes easily to you and boy do you LOVE school. You love anything about school. You are very artistic. You spend so much time drawing, coloring and creating. You love to read. You are reading long chapter books on your own. Sometimes 100 pages in an afternoon. You love life. You are sweet and kind and loving. Your hair makes me happy. You love baseball. Nothing holds you back. I love knowing how comfortable you are with who you are. You are confident. You are sweet and loving and generous. You want to be a dentist. You have wanted to be dentist since you were two. You are not defined by being deaf. It's the last thing anyone thinks of you when they think of you. It is amazing what you have accomplished and you do it all with the biggest smile on your face. I hope you continue to smile through life.
To the three of you,
To watch the three of you is simply a blessing. The relationship between you is one I will never be able to fully understand because I am not a multiple. You all love each other so much. That is not to say you don't fight or get on each others nerves but it always come back to the love. You know each other better than I think I know you. You can communicate without saying a word. You are all so different yet the same. You are connected on a level that is beyond me.
So, HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 7th birthday! I hope this year brings you all the happiness you deserve. I hope you continue to face life every day with the same zest you do now. I hope you continue to love each other they way you do now. Thank you for letting me be your Mom. You are the reason I breathe in the morning. To be able to look at life through your eyes is the greatest gift I have ever received. I LOVE YOU!