THAT IS THE LAST SENTENCE A MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH COCHLEAR IMPLANTS WANTS TO HEAR!! But this is what I heard from Ciaran yesterday afternoon. He neglected to add that he had already taken a huge POOP in the toilet. I run faster than you can imagine up the stairs and look into the bowl. yep, there is his implant at the bottom along with Ciaran's poop. You guessed it. I had to reach in and grab it. Time was of the essence since implants are NOT waterproof but water resistant. To day I was mad is an understatement. Since I didn't witness how it happened I will never know the truth. I asked Cormac why he did it and he said "I don't know". Well, he couldn't tell me if he threw it in or if it fell in. He got so upset because he hates to not have both of them on and I told him it wasn't going to work because it went in the toilet. (It was actually working just fine (THANK GOD) but I wan't to put it in the dry and store to suck out any moisture. It has been working just fine but I swear I might have aged 10 years in that moment.
The days are getting longer and longer it seems. Having Calleigh still in the hospital is upsetting beyond words. The fact that I have to go visit my daughter is just not right. I have been reassured there is nothing wrong except she is a slow eater. She has been in the hospital since 6/10/09. It's so long. Trying to spend enough time with her while also making sure the boys are cared for and find a sitter for them every day in the mornings is difficult to say the least. Not to mention I go up every night when Frank gets home from his afternoon visit. I think I have only put the boys to bed for night once since she was born. While I know they are fine with Frank it makes me sad because I love to put them to bed at night. While I try and spend as much time as possible at the hospital it never seems like enough time. To know she is by herself makes me literally sick to my stomach. I know she is receiving great care and the nurses are beyond wonderful but it's not the same. They spend a lot of time holding her and giving her attention but ITS NOT ME. It's someone else. Please pray she will be home soon. I don't know how much more I can take...
Our day looks like this:
8:00 amOut of the house to get Cormac to school and drop off Ciaran and Colin at whoever is babysitting them
9:00 arrive at hospital
11:30 Leave hospital to go pick up Cormac and then Ciaran and Colin
While the boys nap, I cook, clean, laundry and try and figure out when I am going to be able to get groceries or get to Target for much needed food and supplies.
4pm Boys awake from nap. Frank goes directly from work to see Calleigh. I start dinner and feed us.
6:30 Frank arrives home from hospital
7PM I leave for hospital
10 PM I ususally get home from hospital
AND I am pumping every three hours around the clock for 20 minutes. So, while Calleigh isn't home I still don't get to sleep.
Pretty much don't see Frank at all and never get to eat with him since he doesn't get home from the hospital.
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?