Looking back before Cormac could hear.

As I mentioned before, I was asked to be a guest parent speaker for the Summit Speech School fundraiser. I was asked to also get a few pictures together to show during my talk. So, last night I was scrolling through all the pictures I have taken and trying to pick out pictures that defined our journey to date. I was caught quite off guard at how emotional this made me. Tears were streaming down my face as I looked at the first year of life of my children. But, to think that Cormac didn't hear anything. Didn't know we were whispering or talking to him. DIdn't know the sound of our voices or his brothers voices or anything. Man, it just really got to me. I just keep thinking what was he thinking? I mean, he seemed like the happiest child and never seemed to care. I guess it was his normal. But as a parent, it really hurts. I know it was only a year, but when you see how much we did in a year, well it really hits home how much he was missing.

It was reassuring to see this, however. To KNOW we made such a wonderful decision. Before he could hear he missed out on a lot with his brothers because he didn't know they were doing something. To see him today, actively participating or being the ring leader of the three, well, I could cry over that too! It's what I wanted most for him.

I also was watching tons of video clips of him when he first started hearing. There is one of him when he is signing "duck" because he recognized the work duck. He had only been hearing about 8 weeks. To watch it makes me cry. He has come so far that I almost forgot what it was like before he could hear. I don't ever want to forget how far he has come. But on a day to day basis when he is talking in sentences as long as 7 words, well you tend to forget a short 18 months ago he couldn't even say "duck".

There have been so many little moments that have added up to the big picture. But it's important to remember the little moments.

This journey we are travelling has been so rewarding. It's something I would never change. It makes Cormac who he is today. Yes, I wish he heard us when he was little. Yes, I wish he didn't have to have surgery. Yes, I wish he could hear when he is in the water. NO, I wouldn't change a thing about him!