Triplet Princes and a Princess

Triplet Princes and a Princess

Our journey to hearing with Cormac while living our life with triplet boys and a baby girl.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You call it madness... we call it family

I bought a picture frame with this quote on it a while back. It got me thinking about our family. Our family is just normal to me. I have never questioned what it would be like if our family was different. People have said to me "if you just waited you would have gotten pregnant." My answer is always the same "So, which boys should I be living without?" I did try and get pregnant for a long time. There was nothing medically wrong with either me or Frank to prevent us from getting pregnant. But after a long time of trying it just wasn't working. I did not do IVF. I took medication. This medication was supposed to be taken for multiple days. I took 2 doses. The doctor called and said "don't take any more. We don't want you to have triplets". (Yep, she said it.) That month I got pregnant with the triplets. Would I change it? NEVER

Cormac was my third born. He was not born deaf because he was a triplet (a common assumption). He was born deaf due to a recessive gene Frank and I carry. We did not know this when we tried to have children. Why would we? What surprised me even more was how many people asked us if we would have other children. We didn't find out the reason Cormac was deaf until I was already pregnant with Calleigh. It didn't really matter much. It would not change the outcome of our pregnancy. It never really crossed our minds. We were more than prepared if Calleigh had been born deaf or with hearing loss. Heck, we were already living it. We already understood it. We already knew how successful Cormac was with his implants. It wouldn't be a hard decision to implant her. Of course, we were thrilled Calleigh was hearing. But as most of you know, she was born with lots of other issues.

Our daily lives are hectic. It is loud in our house. There are days when it is down right chaotic. Running into a store to get milk is not simple. Unstrapping 4 car seats and restrapping them alone is a pain in the ass. It usually does not deter me from making any stops.

What I sitll don't understand is how many people feel the need to comment on my reproductive history. I have so many people ask such private questions. I try and weed out the nosey people from perhaps a woman who is struggling with fertility issues. I would never want to dismiss someone who is tying to conveive. Honestly, 99% of people are just nosey. Just like the other day when the father of the bullies saw me leaving with my four kids. He says "are they triplets?" I say, "yes" and kept walking because I really had no use for this man who has no interest in making sure his twin sons have respect for others. He says "man, I had twins and that was enough for me. You had another you are just crazy." I never even stopped walking but said as I passed him. "No, I am not crazy. I have great kids who I enjoy being with and who are being raised to be respectful, nice children". We won't be friends anytime soon.

I have had people say horrible things to me. "I would have left two at the hospital", "I would shoot myself", "better you than me" . They say all of this in front of my children. Do they think my kids can't hear them? (no pun intended) Do they think me kids don't understand what they are saying? I always say something nice about my kids when someone says something like this. When they say "better you than me" I follow it up with "If you feel that way I am really glad it's me and not you". For those who have said they "would shoot themselves" I usually say "well, that's too bad. I love my family and am sorry you feel that way but I would never do that nor would I say something like that to another family".

When people approach me and ask about Cormac's implants I couldn't be happier. I love sharing his story. I love showing people what is possible for deaf children today. I like letting him talk to people and watch in amazement as they try to process the information I gave them. "He can't be deaf, how is he hearing and talking so well?". The best question I can be asked. I have never really had a negative reaction to Cormac's implants. You get the occasional person who says "what if he doesn't want them when he is older?" I say, well he can make that choice but at least I gave him the tools to develop speech and listening skills when he was at the age where it really made a huge difference.

Not sure why I am writing all this today but some days people just annoy me.
Our "normal" is not the same as someone else's normal. But really everyone's "normal" is different. It's what you do with your "normal" that makes all the difference. I enjoy every bit of our madness and would not want it any other way. <3


tammy said...

Good for you and all your comebacks. I remember when I found your blog and was thrilled to see triplets! I went to school with triplets and loved everything about them and their family. It amazes me what comes out of people's mouth and I wonder if they truly hear themselves or conceive what they're saying. My MIL had 12 kids (and four miscarriages) and she has told me about the comments she'd get and my mouth just drops. Crazy. Hugs to you and your LOVELY family!

Lucas'Mommy said...

I think you're amazing, and I love reading about your family. I always thought it was just good luck that you had triplets! How awesome is that! I've never thought anything but that. Keep it up, mama!