Triplet Princes and a Princess

Triplet Princes and a Princess

Our journey to hearing with Cormac while living our life with triplet boys and a baby girl.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Discouraged, pissed and I don't know what else...

I had my first meeting with our school district to start transitioning Calleigh from Early Intervention to Preschool.  Yep, PRESCHOOL??  This time is going way too fast.  Currently, Calleigh receives Physical Therapy once a week, Developmental Intervention once a week and Speech Therapy once a week.  She gets an hour per week of each therapy.    She will qualify for district preschool because she is still testing 40% delayed in Gross Motor skills and over 30% in Speech.

The next step is to see what our district has to offer for Calleigh.  It is such a different experience from when Cormac aged out of Early Intervention.  I NEVER wanted him in a district preschool.  He was doing so well and was above his age level in speech.  I thought it was a waste for him to receive PT, OT and things he didnt.  He NEEDED to be around positive speech models in a mainstream school setting.  Plus our old district didn't have an integrated program.  They only had a self contained program.

Our new district offers a self contained class and an integrated class.  The self contpained class also mixes with the integrated class daily.  She would have access to one on one Physical Therapy and also one on on Speech Therapy. 

I absolutely HATE the idea of her starting school at three years old 5 days a week for 5 hours a day. (This is the program) I feel like a total failure as a parent.  I feel I should have been able to do something to catch her up.  I am not one for a pity party but today really just did me in.  Today I wish I wouldn't have three children with IEP's in school.  Today I wish Calleigh would be attending a typical preschool PK3 program for two days a week for a few hours.  I feel she is being robbed of such a special time in her life.  She is just at the age where we are starting storytime at the library, enrolling in gymboree classes, going to morning play group.  But what does Calleigh have to look forward to ?  Nothing.  Her Mom dropping he off at school for 5 hours when we could be doing things together.  It's seems unfair and today, just for today, I am going to let myself be really pissed off about it.


Molly said...

Awwwh ... I don't know what district preschool is (why 5 days and 5 hours?) But I am sending you all the love I have today, you're such a great mom, and she's an amazing little girl!

Lucas'Mommy said...

I'm sorry! Feeling pissed off with you... :(

Kat said...

Don't be disappointed in yourself...from reading your blog, you are an amazing mother!

Remember that you have the CHOICE to send her only a few days a week. We made this choice for our little man, attending an oral preschool provided by the district 3 afternoons a week and a mainstream preschool the other 2 days. It isn't required from a national standpoint that you have to go all 5 days.

You have the right to put her into the least restrictive environment. You are empowered as her parent to make the right choices for you and your family. Go mama go!

Jennifer said...

You are such an amazing Mom and you're going to find places in the nooks and crannies of your very busy day that is special for Calleigh. All of your children know how much they are so LOVED by their mom and dad and she has so much to look forward to because you will make sure of it. Big hugs mama bear.

tammy said...

Just saw your post on FB so headed over to catch up on your blog. I completely understand what you're saying and how your feeling. The first day I put Aiden on the bus to his current preschool I balled the whole time. He had just turned three, and even still, almost a year later, I'm ready to pull him because to me, it's just TOO MUCH (he goes five full days a week though - leaves at 8am and doesn't get home until 4). That's 8 hours away and honestly, I still carry that guilt and am ready to pull him. I also have the guilt of "he's still needing OT and speech and AV" three years into this journey and when is enough enough! We work our butts off with him and I hate I can't figure out what's not clicking! Five hours seems like a lot, though truly isn't too bad. Think of her day, by the time she gets in therapy, circle time, center time, and has lunch (maybe?), it'll be time to come home. Her day is going to be full of fun and she won't even realize she's "working". Is she going to have therapy outside of school? If not, this is another positive because she'll get it all done there. Sometimes I feel like all we do with aiden is tote him from appt to appt. We still have AV and OT outside of school and I wish it was all just a apart of his day. One thing I started doing with Aiden is keeping him home on Thursdays as a mommy-Aiden day. Yes, we start with a therapy (OT), but the rest of the day is just him and I - games, shopping, park, whatever it is and we both look forward to it. You are an amazing mother Jennifer! I see it through and through! Don't beat yourself up, we all deserve days like this.