Hectic

Seems like I can't catch a minute lately. Between last weeks visit with Ciaran to NYC and Cormac ending up in the emergency room to keeping up with Calleigh's therapies I literally don't get a moment to myself. It seems like their are not enough hours in a day to accomplish what I want to accomplish. I suffer from serious guilt if I am not doing things with the kids. I seems ridiculous because I am home with them all the time but I feel like if I am home with them I should be with them. I keep thinking these are my last months with the boys. Kindergarten starts in the fall and they are full days. I feel it is so not needed to have full day Kindergarten. They have their whole lives to be in school. I know I am in the minority and lots of others love full day Kindergarten but not me.

We had a fun weekend. I went to book club on Friday night. Some much needed girl time. Always love to see my friends and yes, we do read a book and talk about it for a few minutes. But really it's about maintaining our friendships and keeping up with each other. All our lives are so busy with our families. It's nice to know every 6 weeks or so we can all regroup together.

We had Bunny Brunch on Saturday morning. All four kids LOVE the furry rabbit. I wasn't so sure how it was going to go with Calleigh but she loved it. She actually dove out of my arms into the bunny's arms. Quite a difference from the scared to death Santa picture I have of her!

Bunny Brunch was followed up by going to Nicolas' and Michael's birthday party. Colin said "it was the best party of his life". Seriously, it was too cute. It was a dinosaur party and they loved it. Frank took them to the party and I am sad I missed it. I stayed home with sleeping beauty and got ready for a night out without children.

Frank and I went to the Irish Dinner Dance for the Friendly Sons of the Shillelagh. It was a great time. Fun with friends, great music, some dancing and a few cocktails. So glad our friends, Cristina and John, asked us to go.

Today, we went to the The Turtle Back Zoo. We love this place. We spend lots of time there. Today was the Earth Day celebration. The boys are very interested in "taking care of our planet" so it was a perfect day to go. They were able to see what pollution can do to the water. And they were even able to name where the water in the sewers goes after it goes down the drain.

We got to plant a Sunflower seed in a newspaper cup and bring it home with us. They also had a display about butterflies. Cormac impressed them when he told them "a lepidopterist is a person who studies butterflies". They all knew the word "chrysalis" and I think it was Ciaran who told them the difference between a butterfly and a moth. (how their wings are different when they land :) )

We rode the train and the carosel We skipped the pony rides. All in all a great day.

We have appointments this week with the genetic doctor for Ciaran and Calleigh. Just a follow for Calleigh and this will be Ciaran's first time. We won't find out any information tomorrow but we will get his bloodwork done. It takes weeks for the results to come back.

Thankful Thursday

Ok, so with all we have going on lately it's important to remember all the good too. So, I am taking this moment to jot down some and by far not ALL the things I am thankful for today.

1. Frank. Who could ask for a better husband or father?

2. Very smart people who dedicate their lives to improving others lives (ie, cochlear implants, hearing aids, cleft lip repairs, gastro surgeons, SLP's, TOD's) You name it and it seems we have benefited from it!

3. My kids (that goes without saying but I will say it)

4. Great family and not just my blood relatives but I could not have married into a better family.

5. Really good friends. I have some amazing girlfriends who my life would not be the same without. Constant love and support from people who understand me and get me. Priceless..

6. The Sun. Yep, it has actully revealed itself and it is glorious.

7. The beach. Knowing I have the opportunity to go to the beach whenever I want is wonderful. It is by far my favorite place to be and I am thrilled my children will grow up with the love of the beach like me. Can't wait to have 3 lil surfer dudes and a lil surfer chick

8. My health.

So, what are a few things you are thankful for?

Update on Ciaran

I took Ciaran to Columbia Presbyterian this morning to see the ENT and do a follow up audiolgy exam. He was so excited he was going to "Cormac's City" all by himself with me. Frank went out at 6am to get him some candy as a special treat.

He could not have been more cooperative. The audiologist said she could not believe he just turned 5. She has kids much older who are not as reliable or well behaved. I think he was a little scared but he was awesome.

The final result? Moderate Sensorineural hearing loss in the mid frequencies. The audiogram looked identical to the audiogram from two weeks ago. The good news? It didn't get any worse in two weeks. Still lots of unknowns. The ENT said when you have an audiogram that looks like Ciaran's it is usually genetic. (not ususally COnnexin 26 which is the genetic cause of Cormac's hearing loss. But it could be Connexin 26) The next step is to get him some hearing aids. We need to decide on an audiologist and hearing aid center. He also recommended an MRI to look at the structure of his ears. This will be performed in the next 6 weeks or so. There is a long wait time on MRI's at Columbia. It won't change the course of treatment so a little waiting is not a big deal. He also said we should get genetic testing. (That is already scheduled for next week)

The ENT also said all of the kids (except Cormac for obvious reasons) should ALL get their hearing tested every 3 months. And they all need genetic testing. We won't know what will happen with Ciaran even after the MRI and genetic testing. We will continue to hope and pray his hearing loss is stable but the reality is we have no idea. We will only know by keeping a close eye on him for....well, forever. This is the part that sucks the most. Never knowing if all his hearing will disappear or if he will stay the same. I can't even imagine if one day he woke up and couldn't hear anything. It would be so scary to him. I know I would be terrified. How could a kid possibly ever understand it?

Ciaran was such a good boy today. I honestly couldn't have asked for him to be any better. I am so lucky to have such good, cooperative kids. Cormac has never even once given me a hard time about all the mappings, testing, therapies. I wasn't expecting Ciaran to be as cooperative but he was amazing. As for him keeping hearing aids on? I guess we will wait and see....


He did get to get a hot dog from the hot dog truck which made his day. We also made a pit stop at Target on the way home for a little present. And in true Ciaran fashion he picked something out for all three because he wanted to "make his brothers smile". Gotta love him

FIVE YEARS OLD!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY THREE ADORABLE, FUNNY, SWEET, KIND, SMART, CRAZY BOYS! You are five years old today and I consider you the greatest gift I ever received. (along with your sister). I truly love you with every ounce of me!

How on earth did that happen? My boys are five years old today. I have had the best five years of my life. They bring joy to my life I never knew was possible. They make my heart swell with pride. They make me laugh with how cute and silly the can be. They make me proud to see what nice young boys they are turning into. The love they have for each other is palpable. It is something I don't think I will every fully understand. At 5 years old I still find them all sitting together on a chair watching TV just because they want to cuddle together. My hope is they continue to love each other and take care of each other forever.

The zest they all have for life is contagious. They truly love every day. They are little firecrackers when they want to be. They love entertaining themselves. Their imaginations are endless. The games and stories they think up are amazing. nd while they are most certainly a team they are also such DIFFERENT individuals. They are all totally different from each other. They have their own likes and dislikes. They each have something they really like the other two aren't really into. Ciaran loves horses and sea animals, Colin loves Knights and Cormac loves anything to do with a Princess.

Wherever I go with them they are enthused and excited to see and learn new things. They take away so much from every experience. I honestly don't know how they store all the information in their little brains. The ability to recall information from years ago is astounding. I forget things and they easily remember.

We are so lucky to be where we are at this moment.

Five years old...




Fours years old...and I am very pregnant!



Three years old...


2 years old....




One year old....


A few weeks old...their first picture all together.

Ten on Tuesday

Ten things I hope to accomplish in the next few weeks....

1. Get our backyard ready for Spring and Summer. This involves a little more than raking. We are sectioning off the "playground" with railroad ties and filling it with wood chips. Basically, the kids will have the entire left side of the yard for their swings, play house, climbing dome etc.

2. Get Ciaran's second opinion at Columbia and get him his hearing aids.

3. Finally pick out the color for the new siding and roof on the house and get Richie to start the job when he returns from Aruba.

4. Get organized for the boys' first "friend" birthday party aboard the "Pirate Cruise" I am so excited for this day.

5. Stay on track and get to the gym a few days a week.

6. Get Calleigh her hearing test.

7. I am praying Calleigh will walk in the next few weeks. Since my Mom is away for her annual two weeks in Aruba something huge always happens. (not always good) But Since something for sure will happen, I am hoping it's Calleigh's first steps. Sorry Mom.

8. Make the dreaded phone call to my school district to let them know I now have another child who will require an IEP.

9. Get to the dentist.

10. Make a change in the "little" TV room. (We have a family room and a finished basement. The boys call the family room the little room and the basement the "big" room.) I am changing it over into more of an office/home work/coats-backpack-shoe room since we are getting a new garage door we will now enter through the garage and we need a space to put all the junk!

Moonstone

Here is a picture of what your cochlea looks like.



This is the part of the ear not functioning correctly causing Cormac's profound deafness and Ciaran's moderate hearing loss. For Cormac, none of the hair cells work at any range. For Ciaran, his is fine in the low and high frequencies but not working in the mid frequencies. So, this tiny little spiral in our ears is what is causing all the problems.

About a month ago I was in an Irish store buying some gear for St Patrick's Day. I saw a necklace that caught my eye. It instantly reminded me of a Cochlea.



I asked to take a look at the necklace. The sales woman handed me the necklace and it said the stone in the middle was a moonstone. There was a little card explaining a moonstone. "Moonstone is said to be linked with the moon and attuned to the moon's phases. A protector for those on new beginnings and journeys." It brought tears to my eyes because I thought it was so strange to find something like this so randomly that really meant so much. We always refer to Cormac getting his implants as his "journey to hearing and sound".

But now as I think about it I think this necklace is about Ciaran. We have been travelling Cormac's journey for years. Ciaran's diagnosis is our new journey. Maybe someone knew I would need some guidance or support along this new journey. It could also be about both of their journeys.

Whatever the purpose I bought the necklace and I feel it is so symbolic of our lives.

Care Bears

We have been watching The Care Bears alot the last few weeks. The boys saw an old movie and now we have bought a bunch of DVD's. Here is Cormac singing the song from the beginning with his little dance. The second video is Calleigh laughing at me singing the song. She loves the theme song.

Fun at Medieval Times

On Saturday we headed to Medieval Times
for the first of the boys' 5th birthday celebrations. Their birthday is on April 6th. This was a gift from my Mom, Richie and Frank's Mom. It was so much fun. Everyone enjoyed it. Colin really liked that you HAD to eat with your hands and were not allowed untensils. We were told to cheer for the red knight and the green knight was our enemy. I had to explain what an enemy was to the boys. At one point Colin yelled "you are going down, green Knight"

Calleigh found the entire show fascinating. She smiled and clapped and cheered not to mention she ate everything in sight. God bless her soul. This girl loves to eat. I guess she is making up for lost time.










Thanks to the grandparents for letting the boys experience one of the greatest night of their lives. They have been talkng about it for hours.

Ciaran

Ciaran and Colin were both sent home from school with notes to follow up on their hearing after a school screening. Most people would not be concerned by this but in our family it is a concern. What was most concerning was two screenings were performed two months apart and they both had issues at the same decibel level. I immediately set up an audiological appointment for both of them. They have had their hearing tested several times before but not recently.

Heading to the appointment I drove the wrong way twice and couldn't concentrate. My Mom asked why I was so nervous. My response " i have never taken any of my kids to a doctors appointment when they said they were ok. I always get bad news and I know this is going to happen today". I was not wrong. We are once again faced with another challenge.

First, here is the good news. Colin passed with flying colors and has a beautiful audiogram.

Ciaran on the other hand did not have the same result. He is showing a moderate hearing loss from 1500 Hz to 4000 Hz. We do not know the cause. We do not know when it happened. He was screened at birth and has had subsequent tests due to our family history (Cormac). he was not sick. He did not have fluid in his ears. Nothing out of the ordinary. He was a very reliable and more than cooperative patient. Our next step is to the ENT and the genetic specialist. We will have him tested for Connexin 26 to see if he also has the gene mutation like Cormac. If he does we will know the cause but really not what the future will hold. We won't know if it's getting progressively worse or anything. He will have to be tested every three months to track him.

I am so fortunate to have so many wonderful people who are experienced with hearing loss and willing to look at Ciaran's audiogram just out of the kindness of their hearts. The professionals who helped Cormac are all amazing and I have the utmost confidence in their abilities. Ciaran is no where in the range of Cormac's hearing loss. Cormac is profoundly deaf. A long time ago someone said "he couldn't hear a jet engine if he was standing next to it.

Ciaran is already way ahead of the game. He has no speech delay and has aquired all the speech sounds. If his loss is progressive he can maintain his speech by having access to sound with hearing aids. He will more than likely get hearing aids. With the technology in existence today with digital hearing aids he can be given gain in the areas where his hearing loss is without an worry of amplifying sound in areas he does not need it. If it continued to decrease along all levels and he was eligible for an implant we would do that as well. Lots of "ifs". Lots of unknowns. Lots of waiting. Lots of stressing.

The audiologist is suggesting he get an FM system for school. This would mean a second child with an IEP. Anyone who has one IEP knows how difficult they are and the thought of a second just plain sucks. Big props to those moms (and I know a couple) who have three children with IEP's. You all are my heros!

I am obviously upset by this news. Not because I am afraid of what needs to be done but because no one wants their child's life to be any harder than it needs to be. They say you only given as much as you can handle. I am trying to figure out how much that will be. I have come to expect things to go wrong and not get upset by these things. I am hoping there is a greater plan for the obstacles and struggles our family faces. I am lucky to have Frank by my side and together we make a good team.

So, that is it for now. We are letting it all sink in. We are going to be playing the waiting game. Waiting for the genetic results, waiting for audiology appointments. Hoping for the best but being prepared for whatever happens.

Here is a look at his audiogram:



And in case you are not familiar. Here is Colin's audiogram to compare. Colin's audiogram is just fine.

BEA CHAPTER KICKOFF NYC!

Wordless Wednesday

Well, almost wordless. I came across these old pictures on my Mom's computer. These are some of my favorites.






This is the day after Calleigh was born when the boys came to see me

Ten on Tuesday

1. I need a vacation. Really. Frank and I have not been on vacation since September 2005. I know it won't happen but I thought I would say it anyway.

2. Yesterday, was exhausting, upsetting and sad and left me wondering about a lot of things in life.

3. I am not the "woe is me" type of person. I roll with the punches. But seems like so many punches sometimes.

4. I am trying my hardest to keep my "no candy" lent diet.

5. Life is not always fair. I have learned this lesson. I would appreciate not being taught any longer.

6. God only gives you what you can handle. (this is what people keep telling me)

7. The snow from yesterday is gone and I am hoping that is the last of it.

8. I have lots of people near and far who I am I lucky to know even if I never have met a few of them.

9. I love my Mom. I can't list all the reasons why but I love her.

10. I miss my Dad. I can't list all the reason why I miss him but I miss him and it still hurts he is gone.

“May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door.”

Happy St Patrick's Day from our house to your house.

The corned beef has been cooking for hours along with the potatoes, carrots and cabbage. We have been leprechaun hunting for hours. Some pesky lil leprechaun left green pee pee in the toilet! He also left green bagels and a pot of gold. Try as them might, the boys have yet to find him.








By the way, for those who read the blog...this is The Sweater....

Ten ou Tuesday

Now it's Calleigh's turn

1. Calleigh has the most beautiful color red hair I have ever seen. I am not sure a picture can do it justice.

2. Calleigh lives up to the "red headed Irish temper" when she is frustrated. It sort of cracks me up.

3. Calleigh is silly and has a great sense of humor.

4. Calleigh eats anything and everything and ALOT.

5. Calleigh cannot hear music without dancing. She LOVES music.

6. Calleigh can sign "more", "milk", "banana", "crazy", "sunshine"

7. Calleigh is an inspiration.

8. Calleigh loves to come into the boys room when they are going to bed. I think she wants to sleep in their room.

9. Calleigh loves Ciaran almost as much as he loves her.

10. Calleigh might go to college drinking a bottle! All of my attempts to end the bottle have resulted in hmmmm...see #2 on the list!

11. Calleigh has lots of nicknames: Princess Smoocherella, The Smooch, Ruby Red, Sunshine. She actually answers to all of them!

The Sweater

Frank has one sweater he has had forever. He rarely wears it bacause it's very heavy and it makes him hot. He usually brings it out every March since it's a nice Irish sweater. I love this sweater because he looks so handsome when he wears it but everytime he puts it on I get a flashback. It only last a minute but I can't get the memory out of my head.

I went into preterm labor with the triplets at 20 weeks. I was in the hopsital for contractions when all hell broke loose. So many doctors and nurses it was hard to comprehend what was happening. It went from contractions to a full blow emergency in a matter of minutes. They wound of bringing me to labor and delivery and I was put on Magnesium Sulfate. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It's pretty much torture. You basically can't control your muscles. I could barely focus my eyes. It made me vomit. It made me feel like I was on FIRE even though it was not hot.

I kept asking for a fan because I was so hot. Fans are hard to find in a hospital. I remember looking over at Frank standing beside my bed and saying "I am sweating to death. I can't take it". Ths coming from a person who is ALWAYS cold. I look up at Frank and he is wearing this sweater. He was also wearing a hat. He is ALWAYS hot. I remember looking at him and thinking how on Earth could he not me sweating? He looked like he was shivering and I was practically naked begging for a fan!

It was right about then the doctor came in and starting explaining the situation in more detail to us. SHe was NOT my doctor but one of the residents. She starting telling us how if the labor didn't stop "they wouldnt take any life saving measures for the babies because I was too early (20 weeks)" She continued on giving us grim news and Frank said "that is not going to happen. Our babies will be fine". And she responded in a very unsensitive voice "you need to be prepared for the worst". She left shortly after.

I looked over at Frank, all bundled up in his sweater and hat and saw a single tear trickle down his face. Frank never cries and makes a point being OK even if he isn't because it will make me feel better. It broke my heart to see it because I knew how badly he wanted to make it all better but there was nothing he could do. He didn't want me to suffer the effects of the meagnesium but he knew there wasn't any choice. I wound up on Magnesium for over 12 hours and it didn't do much. I wound up taking Indocin which worked it's majic.

When it was all over and they sent me home I made a point to let my OB know the resident who talked to us would not be allowed in our delivery. I don't care what the rules of the hospital were.

So, every time Frank puts on that sweater I am instantly back in the hospital living in that moment. But I LOVE that he still wears that sweater. It is a reminder of what wonderful man I married. It makes me love him more for being who he is and KNOWING our babies would be just fine.

Mapping

Cormac and I headed into NYC to NYU for a mapping yesterday. I really enjoy getting one on one time with each of the boys. Cormac LOVES going to "his city". He enjoys all the sights and sounds of the city.

Cormac asked me on the way in how they got the implants in his head and what they used to "cut him open". He has never asked these questions before yesterday. I explained to him that a surgeon used special tools (scalpel, drill) to put in his implants. He asked a few more questions and was satisfied with my answers.

When we got to NYU his surgeon just happened to be walking down the hall. We don't see his surgeon any longer and Cormac doesn't remember him. Cormac shook his hand and talked with him for a few minutes. After the surgeon left Cormac was so excited he got to meet him! It was so cute.

His mapping went well. He is always so cooperative it amazes me. He was able to really tell them about what he wanted for the first time. They showed him this chart (it was a little different because it didn't have the numbers but it was "too soft", "too loud" and "good"). He was able to answer each time what he thought about the sound. I was so impressed watching him point and answer. According to his audiologist he wanted more volume. So far, he is doing great on his new map. We went shopping on our way home and he was great in the store. Our audiologist gave him another map with a little less volume just in case when he got into the real world it was too loud.

I asked him today after school how it was and I quote "It was great. Love my map. I could hear really good".

While I was there I scheduled his annual review for August. IT WILL BE FOUR YEARS!!! How on earth did four years fly by so quickly? I cannot believe four years post activation. It doesn't seem possible. I remember his activation like it was yesterday. I remember all the excitement, fear, anticipation and worry. But today at 3 1/2 year post activation I feel all those same emotions but for different reasons. I was excited because he would be hearing and start to talk. Now I am excited to see what his future holds because I KNOW he has no boundaries. I feared for him because I was uncertain and didn't know what to expect. Now I fear only for lost parts to his implants. I used to worry if we were doing all the right things. Were we working with him enough. Was I going to be able to do make it through this journey. Now, I honestly don't worry about him any more than I worry about Ciaran and Colin. I anticipate amazing developments in technology in his future. I cannot even imagine what will be available to him in his lifetime!

We are in such a great place right now. I am so thankful.

The thoughts of 4 year olds

I post lots of things the boys say on Facebook but this blog is my record of them so sorry to my FB friends if you are reading them twice!

Colin by far lately has been the king of the quotes to be remembered.

"I want to give this candy to Dad so he knows I appreciate him. Mom, you know I appreciate you."

"Wait, Mom, I have to kiss you on your heart so it will be there forever".

Colin sitting on the toilet and I say "What are you doing? #1 or #2? He says "what's that?" I say "#1 is pee pee and #2 is poop" He says "then what's a #16?

Cormac told me "When I marry Rachel (a girl in his class) she will have to change her name to "Lawrence" Colin says "Mom, since I am marrying you, you won't have to change your name".

Ciaran: Mom, I don't like Cormac's implants. Me: Why, you should love them because he can hear you and talk to you because of his implants. Ciaran: I MEANT I don't like his implants when they turn off because he won't listen to me!"

Colin and Cormac were discussing going to different places. Colin says" Mom, we need to take a plane to get to California and China but not Philadelphia, right?" I say yes. Cormac says "Mom, China is where Panda Bears live. How come we don't go there often?" It's funny how they have no concept of how far away a place it.

Ciaran's latest is he thinks both his brothers are stinkers. He calls them that all day long. But the funniest was when he looked out the window and saw rabbits eating flowers and says "Mom, those stinkin rabbits are eating all our flowers"

We ate at my mother in laws and she made homemade chicken stew. It's the best stew. I make it all the time for the boys and it's Ciaran's favorite meal. However, she adds some seasoning to hers I don't add because I know how picky they can be. Well, we hand Ciaran his bowl of stew and he says "Hey, why did Grandma put fly wings in my stew? I am not eating fly wings" I think it was parsley. He was so mad! The next morning she makes scrambled eggs. I give him eggs and he says "Hey, you said we were having eggs. Why did you give me mashed potatoes?" I swear he is nuts. I make our scrambled eggs very well done. I told him Grandma is going to kick you out soon!

Me: Tonight you are sleeping over Meema's house" Ciaran: "But where are u gonna sleep?" Me: "At our house" Colin: "All by yourself?" Me: "No, Daddy will be with me" Colin: (in a very silly voice)"That sounds a little bit like a date to me. Hey, wait a minute...that sounds like a SLEEPOVER date" LOL!

Me: "Would you like to take Karate?" Ciaran:"what's Karate?" Before I can tell him he says in the wildest voice while doing crazy karate chops "wait,Hi ya ya ya" If that's Karate I wanna do it."

Ciaran: "Mom, what's diareaha?" Me: "Why do you want to know?" Ciaran: "Cause I am pretty sure I have it".

Cormac and Ciaran having a conversation while playing. "Cormac, can you give me some of your play doh?" "Sure, Ciaran." And he breaks off a very small piece. Ciaran: "awww, c'mon, I can't do anything with that little piece" Cormac picks up a rolling pin and says "Ciaran, take the rolling pin and keep rolling it and rolling and it will get bigger and bigger and bigger." Cormac knew he was trying to be slick which I found very amusing.

Colin: "Mom, if I died would you say "I want my boy back and don't want him to be an angel?" Seriously, he said it in a voice I will never forget.

Ciaran calls candy "tandy". He can say candy but always says "tandy". He also says "mapkins" instead of napkins.

They say such funny things all day long. I am never sure what they are going to come out with at any given moment.

SHE STANDS!!!!

Calleigh stood up today without holding onto anything! She did it about 50 times! I, of course, couldn't get a picture of her standing all the way up. But you can see she did it! One of the problems? Everytime she did it the boys got so excited they started yelling and clapping. Calleigh would start to clap and yell and it would make her fall down! She sure has come a long way. If you could see how excited she is when she does it you would laugh or cry.




She even stood up and hugged Ciaran. I am pretty sure we can get her to anything as long as she gets to be by Ciaran.

Ten on Tuesday

This Tuesday it's Cormac's turn.

1. Cormac loves to sleep.

2. Cormac gives the best and most random kisses when you least expect them and always make you feel better.

3. Cormac loves Princess'. Really loves them. We have tons of Princess toys and costumes. But his alltime favorite is Ariel.

4. Cormac has amazing fine motor skills. He has been able to write most of his letters since he was 2 with BOTH HANDS!

5. Cormac makes one face where he puts his tongue in the corner of his mouth and smiles and it melts my heart every time.

6. It drives Cormac nuts that Ciaran says "mapkins" instead of "napkins" and he corrects it every time.

7. Cormac's favorite blanket is called fuzzy. When he was about 13 months he started pulling his hair at night and it was coming out in clumps. Fuzzy was our solution. He sleeps with it every night and defuzzes it instead of his head. (Luckily, we have three of them since we were given one for each baby)

8. Cormac has fits of laughter where he just can't control it. It is priceless to hear.

9. Cormac has the longest attention span of any kid I know. His focus is amazing.

10. Cormac came out of the womb sucking his first two fingers on his right hand. He still does it whenever he is tired.

11. Cormac's zest for life and his thirst for knowledge is unmatched.

12. Cormac is an old soul. Since the day he was born people are just drawn to him. It's very bizarre.

You call it madness... we call it family

I bought a picture frame with this quote on it a while back. It got me thinking about our family. Our family is just normal to me. I have never questioned what it would be like if our family was different. People have said to me "if you just waited you would have gotten pregnant." My answer is always the same "So, which boys should I be living without?" I did try and get pregnant for a long time. There was nothing medically wrong with either me or Frank to prevent us from getting pregnant. But after a long time of trying it just wasn't working. I did not do IVF. I took medication. This medication was supposed to be taken for multiple days. I took 2 doses. The doctor called and said "don't take any more. We don't want you to have triplets". (Yep, she said it.) That month I got pregnant with the triplets. Would I change it? NEVER

Cormac was my third born. He was not born deaf because he was a triplet (a common assumption). He was born deaf due to a recessive gene Frank and I carry. We did not know this when we tried to have children. Why would we? What surprised me even more was how many people asked us if we would have other children. We didn't find out the reason Cormac was deaf until I was already pregnant with Calleigh. It didn't really matter much. It would not change the outcome of our pregnancy. It never really crossed our minds. We were more than prepared if Calleigh had been born deaf or with hearing loss. Heck, we were already living it. We already understood it. We already knew how successful Cormac was with his implants. It wouldn't be a hard decision to implant her. Of course, we were thrilled Calleigh was hearing. But as most of you know, she was born with lots of other issues.

Our daily lives are hectic. It is loud in our house. There are days when it is down right chaotic. Running into a store to get milk is not simple. Unstrapping 4 car seats and restrapping them alone is a pain in the ass. It usually does not deter me from making any stops.

What I sitll don't understand is how many people feel the need to comment on my reproductive history. I have so many people ask such private questions. I try and weed out the nosey people from perhaps a woman who is struggling with fertility issues. I would never want to dismiss someone who is tying to conveive. Honestly, 99% of people are just nosey. Just like the other day when the father of the bullies saw me leaving with my four kids. He says "are they triplets?" I say, "yes" and kept walking because I really had no use for this man who has no interest in making sure his twin sons have respect for others. He says "man, I had twins and that was enough for me. You had another you are just crazy." I never even stopped walking but said as I passed him. "No, I am not crazy. I have great kids who I enjoy being with and who are being raised to be respectful, nice children". We won't be friends anytime soon.

I have had people say horrible things to me. "I would have left two at the hospital", "I would shoot myself", "better you than me" . They say all of this in front of my children. Do they think my kids can't hear them? (no pun intended) Do they think me kids don't understand what they are saying? I always say something nice about my kids when someone says something like this. When they say "better you than me" I follow it up with "If you feel that way I am really glad it's me and not you". For those who have said they "would shoot themselves" I usually say "well, that's too bad. I love my family and am sorry you feel that way but I would never do that nor would I say something like that to another family".

When people approach me and ask about Cormac's implants I couldn't be happier. I love sharing his story. I love showing people what is possible for deaf children today. I like letting him talk to people and watch in amazement as they try to process the information I gave them. "He can't be deaf, how is he hearing and talking so well?". The best question I can be asked. I have never really had a negative reaction to Cormac's implants. You get the occasional person who says "what if he doesn't want them when he is older?" I say, well he can make that choice but at least I gave him the tools to develop speech and listening skills when he was at the age where it really made a huge difference.

Not sure why I am writing all this today but some days people just annoy me.
Our "normal" is not the same as someone else's normal. But really everyone's "normal" is different. It's what you do with your "normal" that makes all the difference. I enjoy every bit of our madness and would not want it any other way. <3